It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

A New Place To Call Home

~Tw: Eating Issues
Throwing Up mentioned, but not detailed

After Minho had calmed down and hugged Hyunjin for a while, they shuffled around and started painting again. Hyunjin was telling Minho about the small things in his house. Spending another set of hours painting and chatting. He could take to Hyunjin for days at a time honestly. "H-hey, Hyune? Hyunjin hummed still engrossed into the bunny he was painting. "How...bad is my s-stutter and s-slur?" Minho breathed out. Hyunjin's head snapped up, "Not bad at all Hyung-" "Mm I want...a real answer, that's why I'm as-asking you." Minho smiled slightly, Hyunjin took a second to think, "It took a while for me to even notice the slur, it just sounds like you're thinking and taking time to talk, the stutter isn't bad either, it's kinda cute." Hyunjin booped his hand with his paintbrush. Minho rolled his eyes, of course he would think it's cute. "I hope it...goes away s-soon... my brain feels w-weird." He let out a soft huff, Hyunjin hummed, "I'm sorry hyungie...It'll get better, Doctor Seo-nim said your brain activities are regulating right?" Minho nodded, "But Nurse Kang explained that the s-stutter mainly...may or may n-not leave. S-She s-said it may lessen...or flair up." Minho sighed, lazily painting the sky. "I know everything is so hard right now hyungie, but you have to accept that things aren't going to be normal for a long time. This is all a part of you growing, and recovering. We love you so much, obviously, we're going to accept you no matter what." Minho looked away biting back a shy smile, "Thanks Jinnie." Minho glanced at his phone, deflating when he had no texts from Jisung. Hyunjin chuckled at him, "Already missing him?" Minho huffed, he always misses him..." I have no i-idea what you're talking about." "Right, of course, silly me." Minho jumped at a knock at the door. He had a repeating thought that his father would burst open the door and start yelling. He froze up, Hyunjin reached his hand out to caress his, "You're okay hyung" Chan opened the door and peeked in, gaze softening, "Sorry Min, we didn't wanna just come in." Minho shook his head, gripping Hyunjin's hand, "N-no no it's okay, I- um n-nevermind...You can come in." Chan opened the door as Seungmin, Jeongin, and Jisung filed in. Minho breathed out, his nerves evaporating. "Hi hyung!" Rang out from the three as they all went to take seats around him, Minho smiled, "Hi guys," his eyes drifted to the take-out bags, his stomach soured, "It's already...dinner time..." he felt like he was always eating and not moving around much, he didn't even need this much food... "Yes, and you deserve food baby." Jisung boosted himself up on the bed wrapping around Minho. Minho sighed, once he was out of this place he so was cutting back, being out of control of almost everything was driving him crazy. He tugged Jisung up, "The nurse said she'll have your food ready in a minute." Seungmin said, peeking up at his painting. Jisung nuzzled into his neck, rudding his face there. "I missed you." "I m-missed you too" Minho ruffled his hair, swooping down to kiss his cheek. He looked up and somehow everyone was already settled, the painting supplies moved over for his and Jisung's food, Seungmin glued to Jeongin as they stirred their bibimbap. Chan struggling to stir his rice soup, while Hyunjin was on top of him comfortably unpacking his noodles, even though they were on a whole two-seater...The nurse came in with his food and they all started eating. Minho shakily picked up his spoon, it was seaweed soup, something he loved but today...all he could do was hyperfocus on the fat and sodium. He put the spoon back down. He saw Jisung open his mouth to say something but he interrupted, "I-I just need a minute..." his voice wavered. "Okay hyungie, take all the time you need." God, he's so sweet...He felt indescribably nauseous from all the medicine he was on. He was in no mood to throw up, not when he could barely stand up. His stomach churned every time he looked down at the bowl. "O-okay I may need m-more than a minute." He said as he felt their concerned eyes on him. "Is it from your medicine?" Hyunjin asked worriedly. Minho nodded, "It should uh...pass in a...l-little." He thinks it's the phenytoin that really makes him feel like his stomach is getting ripped out. He jumped a bit when he felt Jisung slip behind him, but he leaned back into him. Jisung's arms came up and he started rubbing his stomach, lighting patting in between. Minho sighed, hey wait..."Your food S-Sungie." He tried to sit but Jisung gently held him down, "It's not a warm dish it's fine baby." He said, continuing to lightly rub his stomach, "Is this too much pressure hyung?" He softly asked, Minho shook his head, "Oh b-but... I g-get discharged today." "Oh, that's good hyung!" Jeongin cheered, mouth filled with food, Minho chuckled, "Mm, a-and I uh..." From the mix of pain, medicine, and being nervous he literally couldn't think, he looked over at Hyunjin who stopped mid-bite, "Do you want me to tell them hyungie?" Minho nodded, "P-please?" Hyunjin shuffled and put his container down, "So Minho hyung and his mom were talking, and hyung said he thinks he should move out, she said yes but I suggested he live with me rather than alone." "Oh that's a great idea, then neither of you would be alone." Chan said, wrapping his free arm around his waist. "Mm, it was awesome hyung threatened to report them." "Jinnie!" Minho giggled, "I was... gonna leave that o-out." The room erupted in cheers, "That's badass hyung!" Seungmin said and laughed. Jisung patted his stomach, "I'm so proud of you honey." Minho looked up with a smile, craning his neck, Jisung lowered his head and kissed down his temple, cheeks to the corner of his mouth. Minho hummed and rested his head back down. "It's a-at 8 tonight, my mom's...dropping s-some s-stuff off later." Jeongin gasped, "So sleepover at Min and Hyune hyung's place?" Minho's heart warmed, and he nodded. "Mm, Changbin and Felix should be done recording by then." Chan said before taking a bite. Hyunjin giggled, "Yeah 'recording' and other things." Jisung snickered behind him, "They are definitely fuckin." Jeongin gasped, looking scandalized, Chan sighed, "Please not in front of the baby bread." Minho cackled, wincing as it hurt his stomach, "S-Sungie please, my s-stomach hurts too much." he continued to giggle. "Sorry baby." Jisung went back to rubbing his stomach. The nausea was getting much better. He patted Jisung's hands and sat up so they could finally eat.
~~~
"You're a free man!" Felix shouted after stepping out of Chanbin's car, as Chan helped Minho through the hospital doors, they insisted he use a wheelchair but Minho refused. He can walk...slowly but he can do it. Jisung was holding a scarily large bag filled with Minho's medicines, and care for his wounds. "I'm free!" Minho said faintly as he lifted a fist to cheer and accepted the small hug from Felix. They made their way to Chan's car, Seungmin and Felix swapped cars because 'he missed his hyung' which made Minho's heart flip, while Jeongin left in the other car with too. He was still recovering from the hour before, after he ate half of the bowl of soup, he had to throw up...the nurse reassured him this was a side effect of two of his medicines, but he was getting off one of them, so hopefully this won't repeat. The drive 'home' was nice. He was in the front seat, with Chan lightly rubbing his bandaged forearm. The car was filled with laughter when Jisung and Hyunjin teased Felix on how much 'recording' they got done. "I'll have you know that we really did record some stuff...but got very distracted..." Felix tried defending. They pulled into the driveway and his mother was already there. He breathed through the nerves, he didn't want to get out though...Jisung was already there, bowing his head slightly to her. She handed him two bags. "You ready bub?" Chan asked, Minho nodded, his eyes not leaving them. Chan helped him out as Changbin took the other two bags, when did he have so much stuff? "Hi dear." His mother smiled warmly at him, she looked heartbroken... "Hi Mom" Chan squeezed his hand. "I'll have the rest of your stuff ready when you're out of this period of resting okay? You have all of your medicine and things?" Minho nodded, "I do... t-thank you. I'll call you...um if that's n-not too much..." Her face brightened a tiny bit, "You can call me anytime you want Minho, I'll always be right here for you. Now go rest," She turned to Chan, "And thank you so much, take care of him." Chan bowed slightly, not wanting to unbalance Minho. She waved slightly and got into her car to drive away. Minho felt...free...but absolutely lost. She was his rock throughout life...She wasn't the best rock, but she was all he had. Chan pulled him into a big hug, "You're okay bub, I know you are doing what's best for youself and I'm so proud..." That only made Minho cry more.
~~~
As the night progressed, his emotions lessened even more. It was weird, it made him nervous... Usually being around them recently has kept his mood regulated. But it was probably because he was faking half of his good mood but really wanted to keep up his smile to make them feel better. They were watching a new show but Minho wasn't paying attention. His brain felt stuck so he just nuzzled into Jisung and Seungmin more. He was horizontal, his back resting on Jisung's chest, his upper body was being hugged by Jisung as he laid between his legs, and his own legs were on Seungmin, as he was lightly massaging his calves. He expressed in passing how his legs hurt and were numb all the time, so they forced him down to rest and 'get his blood circulated' or whatever Seungmin said. It was nice. If only his emotions weren't slipping away out of his grasp. The crippling thoughts weren't even screaming in the back of his head. He just wanted to feel... He wanted to rip his skin o‐ "Baby what's wrong?" Jisung broke his thoughts. He shook his head. Jisung sighed, his breath on the side of his neck, "Do you wanna go lay down in your room? Alone or with one other person?" God how did they understand him so well? He was feeling a bit overwhelmed being surrounded by everyone. He nodded slightly. "Good job hyungie, really it's okay if you need breaks. Do you wanna be alone or?" Minho wiggled around, he didn't want to ask for someone and take them away from the show... "A-Alone?" Jisung kissed his cheek, "Alright baby, let's get you up." They moved to get up, Seungmin helping him up and off of Jisung. He felt like a weak flimsy toddler, this sucks. He hobbled to the room, clutching onto Jisung's arm. "G'night hyungie" Jeongin said with a smile, "Night guys." Minho matched his smile. They made it to 'his room'. It was just a simple guest room, it was nice. Although Hyunjin and Felix plan on fully decorating it. He sunk down into the soft blankets and pillow, "This is... much b-better...than a hospital bed.''Minho said while trying to get comfortable. Jisung chuckled, "I'm glad." Minho settled in, honestly ready to pass out. He made grabby hands to Jisung, causing him to smile down at him and letting himself be pulled down into a hug. Jisung pulled away slightly, lightly placing kisses on his nose and cheek, Minho whined. Jisung giggled, "So needy" before placing a gentle kiss on his lips, slowly deepening it. He put his other arm over Minho, hovering over him as Minho grabbed his shoulder to pull him closer. Jisung nibbled on his lower lip and pulled away, "Goodnight beautiful" Minho reached up to peck his lips one more time, "Goodnight S-Sungie." As Jisung stood back up someone cleared their throat, causing both of them to jump. Seungmin was leaning on the door frame with a sly smile. "Figured hyungie would want this." He lifted the weighted blanket and cat plushie up. "O-Oh yeah t-thank you Minnie." Minho flushed, Seungmin smirked and walked in, giving him the plushie, and draping the blanket over him. Jisung awkwardly stood there. "Goodnight hyungie." Seungmin patted his arm and left, Jisung let out an airy chuckle. "We aren't hiding it but it does feel like we just got caught." Minho giggled, "Mm, hiding w-what exactly." He put on a teasing smile as Jisung turned with a fake shocked face. "How about we discuss this after you feel better." Minho nodded, he was not mentally stable enough for a relationship. He was so...broken. "S-Sorry..." Jisung furrowed his eyebrows. "You have nothing to be sorry for hyung...I'll wait for you forever. Health comes first." He brought Minho's hand up and kissed it, "Now go to sleep you look tired, text me if you need anything." Jisung left, leaving on the fairy lights that were at the end of the room. The room was partially decorated in Hyunjins style. It was very tan, with small bright pops of color, like the lamps and plants, and it had a little sitting section with a fluffy rug, and what Minho assumes, is the rest of Hyunjin's books in a small bookshelf. The walls were a soft coral color, it wasn't Minho's style but it was cozy. He hugged the plushie close to his nose breathing in the sweet, spicy cinnamon cologne and fell asleep. Blissfully ignoring the tightness in his chest, and numbness.

~Stay Safe and Stay Hydrated Loves~~
You know the drill, if there's typos I'll edit it later hehe I'm busy