It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Do a Spin!

TW:Implied Sexual AssualtUnderages Drinking and DrugsHeavy Eating Disorder habitsAbusive behaviorSelf-destructive thoughts and actionsTalks of Self-harm scarsSmutty-Smut (+++) before and after

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Minho sobbed silently, wrapped in Jong-dae's arms. Blood, spit, and vomit all stuck to his skin. The bass of the music still thumping through the walls, multiple people making out, or just needing a break walking into the room to see him surrounded by half-dressed men...Giggling and stumbling back out. Minho noticed a couple laugh and a flash of white hurt his eyes...But he wasn't thinking about that anymore. And Minho thought he hit rock bottom when he woke up in the hospital after failin-   "Mm, doll...calm down you're fine."   Jong-dae mumbled in his ear and pulled him closer,   "You were the one that said you wanted it to be rough."   Minho made a broken noise and nodded,   "S-Sor-ry..."  Jong-dae shushed him and kissed his cheeks,   "We should get out of here..."   Jong-dae groaned and sat up, yanking Minho up with him. He winced and stood up as Jong-dae pushed him up.   "Get dressed babe."   Minho nodded and sniffled, tugging his shirt and pants back on. Jong-dae dressed faster, and picked up his boots,   "Here sweetheart."   He helped Minho put his shoes on and wiped his face with his thumbs,   "You're fine right."  Jong-dae asserted rather than asking... Minho nodded, he wasn't; his whole body was on fire, his legs cramped from the horrible positions, his jaw and throat were raw and aching, and he could feel the tears and blood on his bottom. Jong-dae kissed him and tugged him out,   "Bye dudes, get home safe yeah."   He called out to the guys still slumped on the bed. Minho was trembling as Jong-dae held his hand and pushed through the crowd, when they finally made it outside, Jong-dae was pushed onto him. Minho caught him and froze,   "Where the fuck is he?"   Changbin? Minho peeked out but Jong-dae caged him with his arm,   "Jeez dude what's your problem?"   Jong-dae scoffed, Minho looked over his shoulder thanks to his boots and his eyes widened. Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jisung were all standing there...looking pissed. Minho let out an almost silent whimper...fuck not when he looked like...this.   "You, your my problem, we need to talk to Minho."   Oh...he didn't even use honorifics...shit...   "Look, I don't think he wants to talk to you guys...we wanna go home and sleep so-"   "That's not his home, he lives with me asshole, stop speaking for him."   Hyunjin spat out,   "M-Minho hyung?"   No please don't use that tone Sungie...   "H-Hi..."   his voice cracked, but he waved at them timidly.   "Why are y-ou guys here?"   Chan looked at him, felt like he was looking into his soul,   "To take you home bub..." Minho shook his head, they weren't leaving without him...   "They aren't gonna leave until they have me 'safe'...how far is your car?"   He whispered behind Jong-dae's back,   "Close baby."   Minho hummed and patted his back,   "Go get it and drive up here, I'll hop in."    Jong-dae sighed and turned around, kissing him and leaving, hitting Changbin's shoulder. Changbin didn't budge, nor look away from Minho. Minho shrank into himself, he looked sloppy, fishnets hanging on for dear life, hair probably a mess, hickeys, bites, and fluids still on him, his makeup smudged... They all faltered when they looked at him.   "Fuck Minho hyung, what the hell are you thinking...?"   Hyunjin whispered, Minho shifted on his feet,   "Uh...How did you even find me."   "Seungmin found a picture and then a video of you in a bedroom Minho."   Minho froze and looked up at Jisung.   "Oh."   Jisung broke slightly,   "Yeah...oh."   "Let's go home...please..."   Hyunjin pleaded, but Jong-dae pulled up and honked, Minho looked down and clasped his hands,   "Bye guys..."   He tried rushing around them but Jisung got ahold of his arm,   "Why are you doing this baby?"   Minho looked at him,   "Because I deserve it...take care darling."   Minho slipped out of his hold and got into his car. Jong-dae's hand found his thigh as they drove off. 

"Your friends are a hoot."   Jong-dae chuckled, Minho bite his nail,   "Yeah..."   "Hey...you okay?"   Minho shook his head,   "Think we can stop and get more booze?"   "Course babe."