It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Don't Test Me

TW:Suicide AftermathNegative Self-talklots of crying...Also, take a shot every time they say 'fucking' heheBut seriously this one hurt me

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Seungmin panted, his feet pushing into the hard ground with every stomp. He could see the barely lit bridge which only made him push harder. His apartment was closer compared to Chan, so when they got an SOS in the group chat and he read that Minho wasn't home he booked it out of his house and to the bridge he found him on Christmas. He should've fucking told someone... His eyes scrambled frantically, spotting a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of alcohol, and a phone...he pushed harder,   "Minho!?"   He could see a small hand clinging to the railing slowly let go, no no no. He jumped up and slammed against the fence, hands flying between the bars, clasping onto his hand and his feet hooking onto the bottom railing to keep him anchored.   "Minho what the hell, you better hold onto the damn fence."   Seungmin panted and tensed every muscle in his body, looking down at an almost lifeless Minho. Almost.   "Come on fucker you are not leaving us. You mean too much."    "Minnie...let go."    "No."   Seungmin's voice was booming compared to Minho's small volume.   "Minnie..."   Minho sobbed, fighting his grip. Hurry the hell up Chan...  "Minho you can't leave us. Not again. We need you."   Minho went even more limp and looked down. Seungmin's sweaty hands were slipping...His back cramping at the awkward bent over, crouching position.   "Minho please just fucking grab the railing. Jisung needs you here."   Seungmin yelled squeezing his eyes shut.   "No...he doesn't. Let go please Minnie."   Seungmin gasped for air and tightened,   "If you fall I fall Minho, don't test me."   Minho finally looked up, a spark of emotion kindled in his dark orbs, Seungmin finally faintly heard a car and footsteps. A bigger body enveloped him and then another was at his front, grasping around his hands. They worked to pull Minho up and back onto the smaller ledge, Changbin caged Minho's body and tried pushing him back to their side. Minho sobbed and clung to the bottom rail, begging them to let him go.     "Minho, bub come on...we'll work through this please come here."   "No! Binnie let me go."   Minho squirmed, his feet slipping under him. Chan lurched forward and kept him steady, their breath mixing from how close they were.   "Minho, hate me all you want but I'm not letting you die."   Minho's big eyes peered into his and wailed,   "Please...I can't...I don't want to be here...please let me go, please."   "Minho!"   Jisung yelled as he scrambled out of Hyunjin's car. Minho gasped and hiccuped. Changbin huffed and moved to have a better grip on him, same as Chan, he grasped his hips and moved so Jisung could talk to him.   "Sungie..."   "Hi baby, I'm so fucking glad you're okay..."   Jisung slumped onto the ledge and climbed up, swiping the tears away and grabbing Minho's hands.   "Sungie...please-you aren't supposed...to be here."   Jisung clenched his teeth,   "My love... it's okay, we're gonna get through this, I know you're hurting but please, please lean on us, trust us, baby this will all work out, I'm begging you to stay."   Jisung couldn't hold himself anymore. Sobs wracking his body as Minho's eyes screamed in pure desperation to jump. He sobbed harder when a cold hand pressed against his cheek, and squeezed softly. When it retracted, Minho squirmed harder out of their hold. His panting increased as he fought their grip, he fully let go of the railing and was trying to pull away, kicking his feet off of the small ledge. Changbin's grip was slipping, and so was Minho. Jisung grabbed his arm and pulled. For being as small as he was, he fought hard. Eventually, Chan and Jisung got a perfect hold when one of his legs slipped off and pulled him through the bars. He went dead weight and let out heart-wrenching sobs of defeat. Jisung held him close, holding him tighter as a small fist punched his chest as he cursed them out. Jisung bit his lip and made eye contact with the alcohol and cigarettes.   "Shh baby...There's gotta be another way. You don't need to die, please don't leave me all alone Minho, please."   He could smell the apple-tinged alcohol on his breath.   "Y-You'll be...fucking f-fine, let me go."   Minho thrashed harder, fighting Jisung's arms. Jisung sniffled and took deep breaths, Hyunjin was behind him, holding him as he was leaning off the ledge, almost falling onto the sidewalk, Chan and Changbin created a block between Minho and the fence, and Seungmin slumped to the side, sobbing silently.   "No one fucking needs me. Let go."   "I'm not letting go Minho."   Minho grunted as he lightly hit Jisung's chest a few more times, his body shutting down and falling limp into a pile of sobs.   "We've got you baby..."