It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

In Public?!

TW:Underaged Drinking and DrugsSelf-destructive behavior and thoughtsHeavy Eating Disorder habitsImplied sexual assaultSexual Assualt (=+=+) before and afterSmutty Smut (+++) before and afterThis is a ROUGH ONEPlease guys...remember that Minho is doing this because he has no more self-preservation left....This is pure self-destruction...I'm not justifying any of his stupid actions, I just want everyone to understand that <3So please be safe, take care of yourself 

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Minho giggled as Jong-dae carried him inside and to his room, which was still half-packed and bare.   "I can feel you judging my room already Lee."   Jong-dae set him on the bed and took off Minho's shoes. Minho bit his lip. His stomach flipped, he hated to admit that he loved Jong-dae once...and those feelings were bubbling back up, he seemed more...nice, attentive, sweet, and caring...   "Nah it took me months to unpack."   Minho stretched his arms above his head and laid down. Jong-dae chuckled and his hands traveled up Minho's legs.   "You haven't changed one bit."   Minho said as he shimmied his pants off.   "And you seem like you're a new person."   Jong-dae said as he kissed and sucked at his thighs. Minho hummed and laid back, letting Jong-dae press into his skin and pull his hips up. He gasped as Jong-dae licked over his rim.   "Mm..."   Jong-dae ate him out until he came all over his stomach. Hot with overstimulation, Jong-dae pulled away and stripped, smirking as Minho's eyes racked over his body. Minho crawled up and pulled him closer to the edge of the bed, taking his cock into his mouth. Jong-dae groaned and fisted his hair, pushing into him and hitting the back of his throat. Stilling and letting Minho relax around him. Minho looked up with teary eyes and watched as Jong-dae thrusted faster into his mouth. Minho gagged and cried hot tears until Jong-dae pushed him harshly onto the bed and plunged into him. Minho moaned out and clung to the bedsheets.  "Fuck baby..."   Minho cried out as the pain filled his core. Jong-dae grunted and panted into his ear.   "J-Jong-dae ca-n I mark you?"   "Fuck yeah, doll."   Minho hated how happy that made him...he hungrily attached to his neck sucking harshly at his sweet spot and jaw. Jong-dae's hot hands hooked on his body chain as he fucked into him. Minho bit down on his shoulder as he came in him; Minho weakly cumming in between them shortly after.

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Minho loved how alcohol seemed to zap away his anxiety...Jong-dae pulled out and kissed him as he pulled him up onto the bed more. Jong-dae reached over to his laundry basket and got a towel. Wiping Minho down and then himself. Minho's stomach fluttered. Jong-dae smiled at him,   "What?"   Minho shook his head,   "Nothin"   Jong-dae hummed and laid down, pulling Minho up into his chest. Still bare against Minho's half-clothed self.   "Mm my sweaters uncomfortable."   Minho said and sat up, throwing his sweater somewhere, and turning into Jong-dae's chest. Minho was still feeling...empty... Jong-dae hummed and nuzzled into his hair, his hands falling to his ass and grabbing it. Minho giggled,   "Next time, be rougher."   "You've got it slut."   Jong-dae mumbled, his chest vibrating on Minho's forehead. Minho let that anxious feeling consume him, making him sick to his stomach.

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Seungmin gasped and sat up, mindlessly scrolling through Twitter when he stopped over a video. Seeing...Minho's long hair draped on a hood of a car... his small body rocking... he slammed his phone on the couch, alerting Changbin and Felix. The three others were napping in the room and Jisung was still at home, wanting to be alone.   "What's up Minnie?"   Felix asked while pausing his game. Seungmin looked up and showed them his phone. Felix's eyebrows shot up and Changbin's face morphed into confused anger.   "He-in public? Where even is that?"   Seungmin looked at the account,   "Some frat party..."   Changbin scoffed,   "I know I probably shouldn't, but I'm fucking pissed."   Felix nodded,   "He must be hurting so...bad to stoop...this low. Getting fucked on a car in front of so many people takes a level of not caring I didn't think Minho hyung had..."   "I'm sorry...what?"   Hyunjin sleepily rubbed his eyes and slumped on the couch next to Seungmin. Seungmin sighed and showed the video. Hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows.   "What the fuck...?"   Seungmin scrolled through the comments wanting to vomit.  "Apparently he was quite the social butterfly...taking shots off of people and shit..."   Hyunjin peeked over and they watched video after video of some other people and Minho at this party. Minho catching Jong-dae and chugging a bottle, him dancing on people...smoking and laughing. He looked bright, not happy, but alive. But also like he was detached and had one foot in the grave.   "He's so...small."   They haven't seen him in such a tight outfit before... his spine was visible, his ribs jutting out, his stomach unhealthily toned...he had scars all over his body. Seungmin blinked at a video, seeing the pink sweater in the background, him being pushed against a wall and the guy kissing his whole body, clear discomfort and tears in Minho's eyes....   "Why...why is he doing this..."   "Because he misses the pain and discomfort maybe?"   Hyunjin suggested. Seungmin sighed and turned his phone off.   "I miss him."