It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Spoiled Plans

TW: Talks about wounds from abuse and self harm
Also, uploads may be a day or so slower, I'm working on another fic! I will NOT put this fic on the back burner whatsoever, this is my top priority. Okay, enough rambling, enjoy!

It was still morning, they were sitting outside in the back taking in the crisp air. They bundled Minho up from head to toe. He was in Changbin's very fluffy sweatpants, and Jisung's oversized hoodie, managing to chase away the chill in his bones. Minho smiled warmly at his spot on the outdoor couch where he was hugging Hyunjin, watching as Jisung and Felix chased around Jeongin. Changbin was off working out, and Chan insisted on making them breakfast only letting Seungmin help when he threatened to punch Chan. "Hey hyungie?" Hyunjin broke the silence between them. Minho hummed, and started rubbing Hyunjin's arms. "Um... can you let me clean up your wounds?" Minho stilled, and Hyunjin turned slightly to look at him, "I'm sorry Min hyung I just know you can't get to your back, and you've been wincing every time you use your left leg...please hyungie?" Hyunjin looked at him with pleading eyes. Minho sighed, this would ease some stress from Hyunjin so... "Okay..." Hyunjin perked up, "But if you get uncomfortable we can stop, or take a break okay." Minho said sternly, knowing how squeamish the other was. "Of course, thank you for letting me take care of you. You deserve it." Hyunjin smiled sadly, and put out his arms to pull Minho up. Minho blushed at the words, and Hyunjin kept holding his hand, and pulled him inside and down the hall. Hyunjin let Minho in the bathroom first, "I'm gonna go get my kit hold on." Hyunjin slipped out. Minho let out a breath that was stuck. Hyunjin knocked, "You can come in Jinnie." Minho chuckled, their sense of privacy, and always asking permission was still shocking, and hard to get used to. Hyunjin peeked in, before fully stepping in and closing the door. "Is it okay if I lock it?" Hyunjin hovered, "Yeah that's probably best..." Something about being in a small locked room reminded him too much of his past. Jong-dae is nowhere near him, he trusts Hyunjin. He took a deep breath in. "Whenever you're ready hyung, no rush." Hyunjin reminded him as he took out supplies. Minho started lifting his hoodie, but his breath hitched, fuck he did not want Hyunjin to see his nasty body, but he knew he couldn't just hike up the hoodie. "Here hyung, you don't have to fully take it off, can I take the back and just pull it over your head? It'll just leave your back out." Minho nodded, tensing as Hyunjin did so. "You're doing so well hyung, here sit down okay." Minho sat down. Absolutely tense, but he trusted Hyunjin. He tried to ignore the gasp, and tremble from Hyunjin when he saw his back. Minho knew it wasn't the prettiest, he's never been whipped before, he didn't know what to expect. "O-Okay, well nothings infected which is amazing, a lot of them look to be almost done healing, but there are... four that's still open and bleeding a bit." Hyunjin pushed through his nerves to say. Minho just nodded. "I'm gonna disinfect them, and put some antibacterial cream on them, and have perfect sized bandages too. Is that okay?" Hyunjin turned to peer at Minho, he wanted to check on how the older was doing, he paused. Minho had a tear cascading down his cheek. "Sweetheart..." Hyunjin got up from crouching and went to Minho's front. "Sorry Jinnie, you're just so...nice." Minho sniffled, Hyunjin just smiled up at him. "Hyungie this is the least I could do, you deserve nothing but kindness and care." Hyunjin took Minho's trembling hands and placed a kiss on them. "Do you want me to continue?" Hyunjin asked again. Minho nodded, "Yes please." Hyunjin went back to where he was. And started working, pausing every time Minho hissed too long. Smearing the cream gently, and carefully placing bandages down. Minho sighed in relief. The cream felt nice and cool on the hot wounds. "Okay sweetheart, can I see your leg?" Hyunjin asked, snapping Minho back. "Uh...yeah." Minho shimmied down his sweatpants. Looking away from his disgusting legs and Hyunjin. Clenching his teeth, trying to resist the urge to run away. "Oh hyung..." Hyunjin breathed out. "I-I'm gonna do the same here okay?" Hyunjin asked again softly. Minho nodded, not trusting his voice. Hyunjin repeated the steps. Minho tried not to melt under his gentle touch, but hearing Hyunjin's huffs, he figured he was not successful. "Hey Jinnie?" "Yeah hyung?" Minho finally looked down, he was almost done. "Are you taking care of yours?" Minho asked, tapping his thigh. Hyunjin stilled, then nodded "Yeah, fucking hate it though...I should probably do it now. I'll do it after." Minho's heart clenched seeing Hyunjin so mad at himself. He couldn't help but blame himself. He was most likely the reason he relapsed, it was all his fault..."I'm sorry Jinnie, if you'll let me, I'd love to help. Remember what I told you yesterday, you need to prioritize yourself." Minho reached out and carded his hand gently through Hyunjin's long hair. Smiling when Hyunjin chased his hand. "Are you sure? You don't have too...it's not-" as bad as yours, Hyunjin cut himself off. Minho handed him the bandage, and watched him place it down carefully. "I wanna take care of you too Jinnie." Hyunjin huffed shyly, "I love you Minho hyung..." " I love you more Hyune" Minho pulled his pants back up, switching spots with Hyunjin. Only to jump and cling to Hyunjin's leg, cowering on the floor when a loud knocking erupted at the door. "Hyune! Have you seen Minho hyung?" Changbin asked loudly, nervousness evident in his tone. "Shh hyung, we're okay, I got you. He's with me Bin hyung, please be more quiet." Minho breathed heavier, trying to get air in his lungs. They heard a low 'shit' "I'm sorry, I...panicked when I couldn't find him..." Hyunjin scoffed lightly, carefully patting Minho's head. "I can see that hyung, but we're okay, and almost done, w-" "S-sorry Binnie...didn't mean to freak you out." Minho called out shakily. "No it's okay! Just wanted to check up on you! I'll leave you guys alone." Changbin chuckled nervously, hearing Minho's small voice call out softened his worry.