It's Not Selfish To Want To Live

Bitter Lies

TW: talk about abuse

They were speechless as they watched Minho walk away from them. They watched as his small frame with a slight limp, get swallowed by the crowd of students. Jisung splutters, tears welling up in his eyes at a rapid speed. Kickstarting Chan to rush to him, he hugged him tight listening to his almost incoherent mumbles. Chan feels pressure in his eyes, but he needs to stay strong for right now. Changbin was cradling Felix as tight as he could without crushing him, Felix burrowed deeper into his chest with stuttering breaths. Seungmin easily held Hyunjin and Jeongin on both sides, mumbling caring words to help calm them down. "Hyung...He- he has- What causes those kinds o-of wounds?" Jisung gasped. Chan's heart stopped, "What Sungie?" Chan asked, not knowing if he should wait to talk about this. "L-like thick...raised cuts. P-please don't tell me it's what I think it is hyung please..." Jisung sobbed, pulling back to try and assess the others' emotions. Chan's heart clenched...Minho was...whipped? Jisung saw the realization, solidifying his own idea. Nausea rolled through him. "He was fucking whipped, please Hyung we need to get him out of there I-" Jisung gasped for air. Everyone looked mortified at what they heard. Jeongin turned fully into Seungmin as a sob wracked through him. Felix, who had stopped crying, was frantic. "Okay guys...let's all go to our cars to calm down yeah?" Everyone numbly grabbed their things, and clung to whoever was next to them, as they all walked back to their cars. Chan was holding onto Seungmin after Jeongin shuffled to be soothed by Hyunjin. Seungmin looked...like he was going to break, clearly staying strong for everyone. As they walked through a back door, propping it open, they made it to their cars. They had to split up but it took a whole period to calm down. Felix realized that he left Minho all alone in first period, which took an extra ten minutes to calm down from.

Minho sighed as he walked out of English, confused on why Felix never showed up. Maybe they were finally done with him, and needed space away from a freak like him. He shrugged, it hurt that he caused potential anger, discomfort, and regret but that just means they won't be as affected when he's gone. He adjusted his bag with a wince, the welts and cuts on his back stung with every movement, he couldn't even lean back on his chair. He stopped at the bathroom, walking up to the mirror. He looked...okay. To him at least, the bruises from Monday were still there but finally he could cover them up with makeup. The gash on his eye brow was healed, the last of the scab was barely there anymore. He sighed, he thinks he's lost weight, he has eaten nothing but vegetable broth for a few days so it made sense, but he looked huge today. Perhaps it was the tighter sweater he was wearing, but he felt disgusting. He had to rip his gaze away or else he'd be late, while walking to science, he wondered if they'd be there. The classroom was close so he got there seemingly before the others, he debated on where to sit, I mean they were super uncomfortable earlier so I should sit in the back. He nodded and made his way to an empty group of seats. He wanted today to be the last day with them, but he didn't want to force himself to be around them. It made him sad, but I can watch them from afar, he reassured himself hoping the urge to cry would fade.

The three of them walked in with red puffy eyes, Minho gulped. He caused that. He felt his hand move to his left thigh, and he raked his hand through the fresh cuts, hard. Taking a breath, savoring the self punishment as he also dug his back into the chair. Faltering when they looked up at him and made their way to the back without much thought in their eyes. He watched confused as they sat down in the same arrangement just in the back of the room. "You guys don't have to...sit here you know." Minho said, looking down. He felt embarrassment creep up. Jeongin looked up, "Why wouldn't we sit with you hyung?" he asked, tilting his head. Minho's breath hitched, "Yeah hyungie we missed you..." Changbin said, getting his things for class out. Chan slowly reached over, using his eyes to ask permission to touch him, Minho shyly nodded. Chan smiled and started caressing his forearm. Minho relished in the warmth it caused, he heard Chan chuckle. "Min...we really need to talk about it, at lunch, or maybe after school?" Minho froze, he did not want to talk about anything, he just wanted to enjoy their company one last time. "Please, I really don't think that's necessary...My father is home so I'm not sure if I can after school anyway." Minho rushed out, Chan hummed, "Okay... No after school but please Minho, we want nothing more than the help you, we want you to be happy." Chan pleaded. Minho bit his lip, he felt their eye's on him, dread filled him. He can't just tell them it's going to be okay. He can't tell them he'll be fine because it'll all end soon. He feels horrible that they've been stressing this whole time when they didn't need to. He felt a hand on his chin, he blinked. Gentle; nothing like his father's rough grasp, or forceful like Jong-dae's poisonous touch. "Careful Min you're hurting yourself." Chan said gently, trying to soften Minho's grip on his lower lip. He drew blood, only now realizing as he noticed the metallic taste. "I'm really okay you guys, please don't worry, it's- it's really not that bad. Just...forget about it okay." He nodded, and looked up meeting their distressed looks. He instantly forced his eyes away, I keep saying the wrong things. "Minho hyung we can't just forge-" "Okay guys get your books open to page 143." Changbin was interrupted by the teacher, Minho has never been so eager to listen about plants.