.Stone And Lumber (Johanna Mason X F.OC).

-Late Night Burden-

Don't cry.

She knew that but it seemed harder each end every day.

Nothing could make the feeling over being groped at, touched and caressed go away, even as she rubbed her skin raw enough to bleed.

She stared at the roof of the train bedroom she was in, the dark and veiled in the night outside view whooshing passed the window too her left.

Athena felt too weak to move and yet she sat up, nothing more then some shorts and a way too big T-shirt hanging off her as she stared at her palms, moments before turning them over and looking at the back of them until she turned them back too her palms, this flip-flopping cycle going on none stop.

Her hands scarred up from years of training and surgeries to fix it and despite what the Capitol tried to do, they still looked roughed up with callouses and the missing feelings in them.

They were so frostbitten after her exit of the arena, her feet, nose and ears were too, it was just about them wanting to cut them off and replace them with prosthetic if it wasn't for how ugly that would look that lead the surgeons to work to save them.

Her hands were her weapon, her strength, her protection.

And like always.

The moment she really needed them, they were useless.

She couldn't swipe at the jugular of the man leaning over her body.

She couldn't slash at the woman touching down her back.

She couldn't swing at the man that bent her over a desk.

She couldn't hide when the woman smacked her.

She just couldn't.

She couldn't do anything and she was supposed to be the best, a victor, strength and glory incarnate.

She reached up on both sides of her neck, lacing her fingers together behind it and hung her arms weight on it, dropping her head, feeling her rough skin on the soft one on her neck.

And she still, still, didn't cry, because that would be admitting she was weak and she couldn't be weak, Cato needed her to protect him, he needed her to be strong for him.

She dropped her hands back in her lap, looking at her useless weapons, if only she had learned to use another weapon, at least then she wouldn't have the ability to always have it with her as a cruel reminder that it was useless.

She dragged herself out of bed, standing on the cold ground, needing away from that spot, needing to do something and so she walking a U in the room around the bed, almost as if she was trying to walking holes in the ground before falling backwards back on the bed when that didn't help, arms out and feet still on the ground.

She almost glared at the ceiling but she didn't have the strength for that, everything felt too much for her.

Now all that could save her from insanity was Cato being the best, winning the games and both of them living in peace, protected by both being victors and only then will she be able to finally put her foot down and tell these disgusting people no, nothing will be used against her anymore.

She yet again sat up, unable to stay still for long, holding her head in her hands as her elbows rested on her knees.

She might go insane before she can get there tho, it was not unheard that a victor 'died under mysterious circumstances', part of those being the drugs, the drinking, the smoking but the rest was suicide, the Capitol didn't say it was but anyone that was a victor knew it was suicide.

After a while, for how long she didn't know, she dropped her arms and lifted her head, all was so wrong in her life.

She lifted her head and sighed, looking where her head moved tho her gaze froze on the phone.

Mind blank, she watched it for a while before scooting over and taking the receiver off and dialing in a number.

And sat there, listening to it ring, it sounded so loud in the heavy silence.

"What?!"

She smiled a little at the groggy voice that answered from lower in the train.

"Sorry, accidentally hit the call button and thought it would be rude to hung it up as I knew the ringing would wake you." She lied, laying back in the bed, sighing softly. "Would you.... Talk to me a bit? I am bored and can't sleep."

"For fuck' sake Thea.... Sure, I can sleep back in 7, I have nothing to do there anyway."

"Alright.... Thanks." She smiled a bit, the weight feeling more bearable already.