.Stone And Lumber (Johanna Mason X F.OC).

-Kiss-

(Fun fact: The song linked at the start of the chapter was found again accidentally and oddly enough and not at the same time, fits Athena greatly along with this one bellow.)

(Athena's really fitting song are either about despair, her fighting back or being a monster.)

(Yes I do make playlists for each oc of mine with songs I think fit them, Paige has one too and I remembered talking with someone about making a third Hunger Games fic, Johanna of course, but realized.... I already have a third planned, the reworked canon of the 74th in Paige's fic, I gotta write that, so if I write more it would be a fourth... Like Forest Fire is number 1 in hunger games currently and Stone And Lumber is number 2 when I last checked... Am I trying to aim for the 3rd and 4th spot too lol?)

It was hard to figure out what Athena was feeling but Johanna felt her gaze burn through her. 

"Hey." She softly offered, locking the door behind her, from the inside so it wasn't much to keep Athena in but more to keep others out.

The woman looked like a mess, in addition too all the medical gauze and wraps, too the bruises and healing injuries visible, looking sleep deprived, messy, starved and just.... Yeah... A big mess with now tears added too it.

"I've locked the door so they can't barge in." Johanna pointed too the lock, taping on it (taping? tapping?). "But it can be opened from inside, that is not a reflective wall, that's a one way mirror, they can look in and hear in with mics." She slowly explained.

It was all odd, after that first meeting, seeing her leaned back, arms now crossed and a judgmental look on her face while her head tilted aside almost made Johanna forget nothing was alright here.

"There are no weapons in here, you are not tracked, chipped or locked in, we are in district 13, underground."

She grabbed the plastic chair and spun it too herself and sat on it, crossing her arms on the backrest of it, staring back at her, not willing to break eye contract.

"Katniss blew the arena up, that's when me an Finnick, being too close, were zapped too, I had a burn for weeks on my arm, the chip they put in there channeling the charge into it. Wiress and Mags are fine too, they are here with us. You've been in the Capitol for at least a month if I haven't lost count, maybe more but not less, you've been here for a week."

Being kept in the dark was more scary then the worst of news in these cases, minds playing tricks and twists on the person, sure they'd be mad if she told too much but she didn't care.

"Annie is good, Finnick and Mags are looking after her, Cinna was Katniss' stylist you knew that? He designed the mockingjay suit in Katniss' propaganda clothes, he is fine too, legs healing well. Peeta still has outbursts, he is still begging for you to save him but he is safe, Plutarch's mindless plans are working, he is getting better." 

Her throat felt like someone was squeezing on it but Athena hadn't moved to grab at her. It hurt her to know only she'd be able to talk, only she'd be able to share, to advise, to anything, Athena forever forced too silence... She was already missing her teases, she loved her voice.

"District 5 blew up their dam, for the moment no survivors have been found, it was because of them that the team could get in to save you guys, district 12 has been blown up, it doesn't exist, out of 10'000 only 900 remain if I heard right, district 7 bombed their peacekeepers and is holding the front, district 2 has turned into a battle field, we don't know how many but one part joined our fight and a bigger portion is a guerrilla type of defense for the Captiol." She listed off all she remember, she was sure many more of the districts fought back with or against 13 but she didn't know all, having been isolating herself in her room or training most of the time.

She jerked a bit, feeling fingers smack her face.

Athena frowned, having not wanted to hurt her, just touch her, and yet she felt nothing, nothing in her hands.

Johanna grabbing it before she could pull it back.

"I am sorry, I wish we could have come faster, you don't deserve this.... You never asked to be a fighter but life threw you in the pit and said 'survive' and so you did.... You shouldn't have."

It was true.

Athena had to fight her way out of every situation and struggle in life, nobody ever handed her anything for free.

So she had to make a choice early on, either sitting back and letting life beat her up, or make a decision to get up everyday and fight.

It was not easy, it is not going to be easy, it is tiring and exhausting.

It felt like she kept losing battle after battle but in the end, she did not give up, a lost battle doesn't mean the war is lost.

She sacrificed her hands and her ability to speak for this cause so it doesn't matter if she doesn't deserve it, she needs to go through it to avoid that fate for the others.

But damn did she wish she could still feel, feel her soft skin under her touch, able to tell her stupid little flirts, able to do anything.

Athena grabbed her hand and pulled, more like yanked, making her stumble over the chair and knock it down as she was pulled into her arms.

Johanna sat there, on one of Athena's legs, so close, reaching her now freed hand and cupping her face with both of hers.

"I am sorry I didn't insist in the arena, when we next meet..." She asked in a whisper. "Thinking we had the time, thinking all would go smooth, I am sorry, how stupid were we?"

Johanna didn't complain about the hands on her face holding a bit too tight, this was nothing, not worth a reaction.

"Just why didn't I insist then? Why was I so stupid? Now if you even felt anything similar you can never say it, you can't tease me, you can drive me insane... I wish it would have been me."

There she flinched, the hold being too harsh, Athena looking pissed, shaking her head.

"And even after this you'd wish to protect me."

Athena struggled to move fingers, it was more muscle memory then anything if it was even the right muscle, knowing that despite it all the muscles are in her forearms and not fingers. (I was so confused when I learned that the finger muscles are the forearm muscles and finger like only have ligaments or tendons or something) Showing a one, two, three and four, struggling with the pinkie.

"You'd do it again?" She asked, assuming that it was that, confirmed with a nod, Athena would choose this fate once, twice, three and four times if it meant Johanna was safe.

And sure, she couldn't talk, she couldn't feel her hands... But there is a last thing left still.

Something that despite it all, could still be done, something she refused her so many times.

Grabbing her again, pulling her in and giving her a kiss.

Short but sweet, Johanna pulled back first.

Starting into Athena's eyes with her own wide ones before tears that were held in for days started to fall.

Athena leaned her forehead against hers.

"I am so sorry." Johanna whispered tho smiling a little, Athena giving a weaker one back.

(*In a granny costume, throwing happy thoughts too the reader flock* There there my little ones, a shred of happiness)