Royal love

Chapter 68

My breath catches in my throat. I'm suddenly forgetting why I was mad, what I caught him doing.

This isn't okay.

He knows what he's doing.

He's trying to distract me.

And it's working.

"No," I breath out without making an effort to move. "It's absolutely not fine at all."

Hayden doesn't move either. I feel his big hands on my waist, only a thin layer of fabric is stopping his skin from being on mine and it's driving us both crazy.

"Start explaining," I say breathlessly as his hands run up my body.

"When I was younger," Hayden starts not stopping his hands for a second. "My father would burn me Everytime I did something wrong. Weather that was mess up a mission, not train the way he wanted me to, not push myself as much as he wanted me to, you name it. Sometimes he burned me when he was bored. He said it would build my character."

My breath hitches when I feel his hands on my chest. His hands on my chest. Again I am reminded of the thin material between his skin and mine. I am reminded I don't have a bra.

Hayden doesn't stop talking for a second.

"When he got bored of burning me, he would cut my back up, but I never got bored of the burning. I got hooked on the feeling of the heat melting my flesh. It was one of the only things that could hurt me, I never told my father my back was so calloused that when he cut me he hardly ever reached the soft layer of my skin so he thought he was hurting me when he wasn't."

I look away from Hayden's hands for the first time and he's staring strait at my eyes. We make eye contact for what feels like ages before he moves his hands back down my body and his eyes flicker down to my lips.

"Every time I got stressed, angry, overstimulated, sad, any negative emotion, h*ll, maybe even some positive ones, would trigger my need for the burning feeling. I needed to smell my flesh being cooked, needed to feel it melting like ice."

"Your addicted to hurting yourself," I say realizing.

Hayden nods. His hands fall away from my body and I can't help but feel like he took a part of me with him.

I get off of him.

He doesn't move. He looks like he regrets telling me it all even though we've already been here before. I already knew he liked hurting himself.

"Give me the lighter," I demand.

"I'll just buy a new one, Adeline. There's nothing you can do, I'm sorry."

The tears come back. "There has to be something, Hayden. I can't let you keep hurting yourself. You've been through enough pain, you don't need to inflict it on yourself. You don't deserve it."

"Just think of it as a reward, like it's not harmful at all. I like it, it calms me, makes me feel. It makes me happy and it really can't be that damaging." 

"Oh, Hayden," I say covering my mouth with my hand. He doesn't realize how not normal this is. He doesn't realize how damaging it is.

"Please, Adeline. Don't take this away from me."

His eyes are glistening as he speaks. I feel my heart shattering as I step closer to him, grab his balled up hand, slowly open it up, and take the lighter.

"I wont let you keep doing this," I say. "There are other ways to feel happy. Other ways to feel things. You wont buy another lighter to hurt yourself, promise me."

He shakes his head. "I can't," he says covering his face with his hands as he shakes his head. "I can't!"

"Yes you can!" I yell. "Promise me or
I—" I pause, what will I do? He's six foot three, muscular, knows how to fight, there's little he can't do to me. There's a lot I can't do to him.

"Or I.. won't talk to you until you do," I say. It's good enough, he doesn't get along with Sebastian so soon enough he'll have to have someone to talk to and who will he turn to? Me. And that's when he'll promise to stop and we can start all over.

"Adeline," he says his tear coated eyes meeting mine. "Don't do this, don't make it this or you."

"I have to," I say. "I can't keep letting you do this and keep a good conscious. I care about you Hayden, d*mn it! I don't want you to hurt yourself!"

Hayden stays quiet.

"So choose," I say. "Me, or this," I dangle the lighter in front of him.

He doesn't move for a few minutes, tears streak down his face and I know he's made his decision, I know what he chooses.

He takes the lighter.

______

"I'm home!" Sebastian yells when he gets back from his friends house. Hayden and I haven't spoken a word to each other ever since he chose a lighter over a human being. He hasn't even moved from the spot on the bed he was sitting in. He's just staring at the floor, I can see him doing it from the couch whenever I look down the hallway, his door is wide open how I left it.

"Welcome home," I say flatly.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asks putting down a few brown paper bags of groceries on the table and walking towards me.

"I'm just hangry. Want help with dinner?" I ask.

"I know how that feels," he laughs. "That would be great," he responds with a smile.

I get up and walk into the kitchen, he lights blinding me ever so slightly from sitting in a dark room all day.

"What you in the mood for," Sebastian asks.

"How about something easy? I don't really know how to cook," I say with an awkward laugh.

"What?? Oh my gosh!! I have to teach you!" He says pulling out tons of pots and pans.

A smile creeps onto my face as I watch him light up with joy just by being able to teach me something most people know how to do.

"Okay so first you have to.....

Word count: 1045
2:51 mp
10-21-23
(Not revised)
IM ON A SPREEEEEE
guys you better be liking these chapter also if it wasn't clear, Sebastian's voice is fading out to end the chapter because that's what I decided to end it with okay? It's not gonna pick up from how to cook because I DONT KNOW HOW!!
Lol have a good day more chapters ASAP! ❤️