𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬
Nuisance is her middle name
Perfection is his
When I first saw him I was blown away with his baby blue eyes. The second time I wanted to know more about him. But the third time...
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Insecurity, guilt, overwhelm
All these emotions are resurfacing through my brain every now and then.
Two days back Aadya left for Manhattan and I came back home. The fact that these were the weekends didn't help much with my situation. Gio has been working alone and looking after the company in Adrian's absence. Adrian is busy with 'something important' due to which all the workload got on Gio's shoulders. I can't blame him for this but I can't help my thoughts either.
We didn't speak much after that day. I know he won't ignore me but I can't help but think
What if he is done with this relationship
What if he got bored of me
What if all those words were to fool me
What if he found someone better
All the questions and doubts were increasing day by day. I tried everything to keep myself busy. I worked online from home, I tried to dance, I tried to talk to my friends, in fact I even tried to go out somewhere.
But did anything work?
No
None of this helped even a bit. All my thoughts eventually blurred and the only person who stayed in the thoughts was Gio.
I don't know if he thinks of me as much as I think of him but even if he thinks a little, I hope it's good and it makes him smile.
I have never been a selfish person, even as a kid, I sacrificed the little things which I could if that made the people around me happy. But I can't do this when he is concerned. I hope he ain't seeing someone. I hope he didn't forget me.
I hope he ain't happy if he is with someone.
My thoughts don't seem to take a break any time soon and with each passing minute a strong and painful lump is forming at the end of my throat. It might look like overreacting but what can someone expect from a person who was never someone's first choice except for my parents and my best friend. Everyone else treated me like an option.
My ex always compared me with his ex or some other girl. He always made me feel like I have some problem, like I was not good enough, like I was a side option for him who he would kick out the moment someone better stepped in. And that's exactly what happened. He did exactly what I feared.
I know Giovanni is not like him but I can't help the thoughts that are emerging in my head. He said he will always stick around me like a tail. He said he will never abandon me. He said he will be there to clear all my misunderstandings and will explain my overthinking.
So, why am I still feeling like this?
I don't know the answers to my questions but there is one thing I know. In the past week, my heart registered one thing and that is...
