Helluva Deal

10. Shadow-Fight

As almost always, Blitz is the first one to wake up. But it's rare that he does so from a nightmare-less sleep without a startle or a throbbing heart. He smoothly slips from sleep to reality and yawns softly while blinking opens his eyes.

It's still dark in the room but he doesn't have to see anything to know that his friends are still sleeping peacefully. After all, two of them are still closely pressed against his sides while he's holding them in his arms.

Smiling, he turns his head to lovingly kiss Stolas on top of his head, then he focuses on the feeling of Alastor's body to monitor his breathing. It's even but shallow. His body feels warm, but not like he's running a fever anymore. And his trembling at least apparently ceased as well.

Blitz smiles and just listens to the breathing of his friends...of his family for several minutes.

He feels safe for once. At ease. Relaxed.

His mind isn't screaming at him, voicing doubts that anybody will ever truly love and accept him with all his quirks and errors. And for once, this silence doesn't kill him. Doesn't make him nervous, but lulls him into a soft blanket, making him feel at home more than ever.

A tear runs down his face, but he smiles.

It's perfect.

He just wishes, Loona would be here too. And...Octavia... He believes the girl would be incredibly glad to finally see her dad truly happy and at ease after everything he's been through already.

And Loona... Blitz swallows hard. His adoptive daughter and him get along better and better with time and he truly loves her as if he raised her since she's been a puppy and not almost an adult. But that's the problem sometimes, when he tries to hold her back out of worry. That's why they agreed that the festival, she and Via went to will be a test time where SHE calls or texts Blitz whenever she feels like it or needs anything. Her adoptive father on the other hand won't disturb her. Blitz only agreed because he knew Via would be with her and he knows that girl already has quite some powers like her father. But it still feels wrong to him. Like a bug, constantly nabbing at his heart.

And now that things have quieted down here again a bit, he feels this pain even more...

With a soft sigh, he closes his eyes.

He wonders what Stolas feels like about this... He told Blitz that Via pushed him into the same bargain somehow... Did he hear from Via during the past action filled days? Are the girls all right? Did they both mess up as dad's completely by giving them this free room?

The doubts return to him with a stab through his heart and brain, making it come up with worst case scenarios. Now it's him who starts to shiver uncontrollably and after a while he can't suppress the low whimper boiling up in his throat.

„...Blitzy?..." Stolas next to him places his hand on his chest. At the same time, Alastor stirs awake as well and lifts his head, his eyes and voice still somewhat sleepy, „What is it? Are you okay?"

Blitz nods but his hands are clenched into fists.

„Blitz," Stolas sits up now, looking down on him with sorrowful eyes, his hand carefully caressing his chest, „Talk to me."

Alastor is already feeling his forehead, sitting up with a low grunt now as well.

„I... I'm okay. It's just..." Blitz feels his breathing becoming erratic and he sits up as well now, pressing his hands against his head, „I haven't heard of Loona for days now... What if...anything happened to her?! I'm the worst father! How could I believe I could adopt a child?! I'm constantly fucking up EVERYTHING I touch! I..."