Soulmate (Cameron Dallas/ Nash Grier/ Matthew Espinosa/ Hayes Grier)

Chapter 67

I honestly have no idea what this chapter is...
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Dear Kat,

It's Friday now. I didn't write yesterday... I didn't know how. Yesterday, I saw something I'd never thought I'd see this soon. I saw my little brother's innocence stripped away from him by everything evil in the world. I saw him cry. But this wasn't just crying, Kat, he was sobbing. My heart just... broke. It broke into a million pieces that I didn't even know I had left. The sight of the world doing that to my brother was unbearable, and it was as if the glass between us was mocking me; holding me back like the world has done countless times. I don't really know why he was crying, what he was feeling. All I know is that I never want to see it again.

My trial is Monday, Kat, and it's not looking good for me. They've put everything they have into keeping me in here, which frustrates me seeing as they haven't talked to me once. I've never understood this job; lawyer. How could you fight so hard to put someone in jail without truly knowing if they're guilty or not? Without hearing what they have to say? What I have to stay. How could they fight so hard to tear a child away from his family, from his sobbing brother that needs him at home? From her. God, it isn't fair; but what's ever fair anymore?

I don't know why I'm writing to you exactly when I know I'll never get a response, but I feel like you understand me. Even when you can't hear me, you can. Even if you can't feel my pain, you understand it. I'm going crazy, Kat. I have to double check if the nurse gave me my pill or not, because my thoughts are traveling to horrible ideas. Ideas such as what if they declare me guilty? What if I can't take it in here?

But then there are thoughts like what if you can't take it out there? What if Hayes can't take it out there? What if no one can take it anymore? And I don't know what to do about these thoughts because there's nothing else to do but think about them, letting them replay in my mind over and over again until I start imagining horrible scenarios in my head. I guess that's why I'm writing this, Kat. Maybe if I've said all I have to say, I won't think about it much. Maybe for once, I can stop overthinking every detail in my life and just live. Or maybe this is a waste of time and I'll be doing this forever. But for whatever reason, this is helping me; talking to you. I need hope right now, and you are my only source of it.

Kat's POV

Foot tapping, leg shaking, fingers drumming, heart beating. Everything is moving in slow motion and I desperately want to speed everything up so I can get to Hayes. The airport is filled with random people with random things they have to do and random places they have to go, but my mind remains on my best friends. My fingers involuntarily play with the necklace around my neck that Dan had given me, as if it was giving me some form of comfort.

Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure, I got shoved into a locker again by another guy Heather probably sucked off, but Austin was there again to stop it; though I didn't thank him. The thought of Austin and Heather together sickens me, and I refuse to believe that it happened mere weeks ago while the bullying was at its peak. I'm disgusted, to say the least. I had a soft spot for Austin and his abuse story, but that spot is hardening as each day passes.

And then there's Magcon; is it even Magcon without Nash? Is it even remotely close when a prime member is in custody for a crime he didn't commit? I wouldn't know the answer. All I know is that someone is going to have to explain why Nash isn't there, not only to the fans, but to the guys. Granted, it's been all over the news, but there's a big chance no one fully understands what's happening. But then there's me in the center of all the anxiety and chaos, mentally thinking oh Nash, he's in for allegedly murdering his ex. But don't worry, he didn't do it even though it would make sense seeing as he stabbed himself in front of all of you that one time. And to think those were the good days.