Midnight Shades

Chapter 54

Courage is something that lies within each person, whether it's only one percent of you or a hundred percent. That courage only appears when you are fighting for someone, something, or a purpose. Everyone must have something that they fight for, whether it's small or big, a doll or freedom, someone or something.

I'm fighting for freedom, but I'm also fighting for love. I feel like I'm caged, forced to love a specific category of people, even when I don't want to. I should be able to love whoever I want to love freely, without people judging me, abusing me, and punishing me.

It shouldn't matter whether that person is a sorcerer or not, a human or not, a female or a male. Hell, it shouldn't matter if I'm in love with a damn bird.

The worst kind of fighting, is fighting with being judged from everyone around you. Yes, I have people beside me who support me, but I have people who are not doing that. So far, I have been focusing on the supportive people, but the deeper I get with the fighting, the more I focus on those who aren't supportive.

The sleep that I get is full of these thoughts, even with Louis' presence behind me. The sun lights are coming through the curtains and all that I do is just stare. Louis' arms tighten around my waist as he brings me closer to his chest.

I close my eyes with a smile as I place my hand above his, loving the feeling of it in my hand; it's just like holding the entire world. Gently, Louis reaches with his free hand and pushes my hair to the back, revealing my neck to him.

Pressing a kiss to my neck and jaw, and with his morning soft voice, he says, "Good morning, angel."

"I think this one is my favourite." I smile, even though he can't see me.

"What? Angel?" He asks quietly, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"Yes." I reply lowly, not wanting the blissful moment to end.

Louis hums and says, "It's my second favourite, one being my Midnight Shade."

I grin from ear to ear as Louis' hand moves over the curve of my hip and squeezes there. "I'll always have a special place in my heart for that name."

"And I have your whole heart," He says proudly. "Aren't I lucky?"

"Very." I tease, making us both chuckle lowly.

"Why are you up early?" He asks after a few minutes of silence, gently moving his fingers through my hair. "What's been troubling you?"

I sigh and move to lie on my back. I look at Louis' eyes and keep my gaze for a while before speaking, "I'm scared."

He opens his mouth to speak but I shake my head at him, silently telling him that I'm not finished. I need to let that out, because it has been distracting me a lot lately and it's no good, so telling Louis about it will me relax and keep my focused on what I should be focusing on.

"I'm scared of not being able to protect my friends, I'm scared of losing anyone of them and I'm scared of losing you especially, but what terribly terrifies me is failing. I don't want to fail; I don't want to lose the freedom that I haven't even won. I don't want to fail this after preparing and fighting for it." I explain, letting out a deep breath once I'm finished.

Louis nods understandingly before saying, "I was eighteen when my mom refused to support me or give me any money to attend whatever school I wanted to go to, and I wanted to leave and just start my own life, you know? Be independent and all that, but I was scared."

I look up at him as he continues, "I was so scared because I never knew how it felt like to be independent, I was so used to living with my mom and sisters, so used to taking my money from her each month, so I was extremely scared because I didn't know what to do, I was afraid I might fail at being independent and become poor or something, I was afraid of having nowhere to live, and what scared me the most was thinking that I wouldn't be able to have my own tattoo parlour."