Haikyuu!! x Reader

Haiba Lev || Uncertainty

this was already halfway done, so it was pretty easy to finish. requested by averagedinosaur-- I hope you enjoy it, and I'm very sorry for the wait. ^.^

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 Lev wasn't ever nervous - he tackled every situation life threw at him with confidence nobody around him possessed, and when he did things wrong he admitted it with a smile and promised to do things right the next time. He was confident. Prideful. Not cool or collected, but most definitely sure of himself - never was Lev a nervous person.

The only thing in the world that Lev was ever nervous about, was ever unsure of, was his relationship with (f/n). He didn't doubt her, didn't doubt the relationship at all, he just... he didn't know how to act as a boyfriend. He didn't know how to subtly compliment a person or cuddle or even hold hands right. It was the one thing he didn't know how to do and couldn't do with confidence, and it weighed on his nerves more than anything ever had.

It didn't help that the upper classmen of the volleyball club enjoyed picking on him, either. Taketora, Kuroo, Yaku, Kai - even Kenma had snickered at Lev's helplessness at one point, and it made Lev even more uneasy than he already was with the entire situation.

He was trying, he really was, but it was hard for Lev to control his limbs sometimes, and when he reached to hug (f/n) he always miscalculated and grabbed her wrong because he was used to hugging his sister and his mom, both women as tall as him, and sometimes Lev forgot how awkwardly large his body was and it was hard for him to get comfortable on the couch or in bed with (f/n). Holding her hand was awkward because his hands were too big, and for once in his life Lev was unsure of how great his height was.

Lev was even more afraid to kiss (f/n), because Kuroo told him that girls didn't like bad breath, and while Lev was sure he had just brushed his teeth, he couldn't help but be worried about his breath. He wanted to be good at everything the first time around - he didn't want to learn or practice, and he definitely didn't want to spend time fucking up to learn how to fix his mistakes - he didn't want to fuck this up at all.

And , while he is sure she wouldn't, Lev couldn't help but think that (f/n) was going to judge him for being inexperienced in this department of life, and that absolutely terrified him. He wanted to keep her as his girlfriend, and he thought to do that he had to impress her. He tried and tried, but through his nerves he always managed to fuck up something somehow.

The last straw was pulled when Yaku told Lev something that would probably stick with him for life. "Be careful, Lev - girls don't like boys that can't cuddle well, and (f/n) might just leave you if you can't cuddle correctly."

It was a joke, an obvious joke, just a ploy to mess with Lev, but Lev didn't see it that way. It went to his head, made him afraid to cuddle (f/n) because he couldn't mess up, couldn't fuck it up at all.

And, so he didn't fuck up, Lev stopped the cuddles all together. Whenever he and (f/n) were getting comfortable, were about to lie on one of their couches and relax, Lev would make an excuse and get up, move, push (f/n) away from him. He would ask someone how to cuddle right, talk to someone tall like him later so he had all the tips and tricks on how to properly control his limbs while he cuddled his girlfriend - until then, he was going to keep up with the excuses and pray that (f/n) didn't care too much.

*****

(f/n) didn't ask for a while, but after some time it got to her - she was scared that Lev wasn't cuddling her because he just didn't like her anymore, and she wasn't going to keep him in a relationship if he was unhappy in it.

Lev had just made another excuse to stop cuddling her - said he wanted more snacks, even though they'd just had dinner, and (f/n) decided it was time to confront it. "Why don't you ever cuddle me anymore?" she asked, a frown on her face. Lev looked scared, like a deer caught in headlights, and (f/n)'s gaze moved to her hands. "It's okay if you don't want to cuddle me, but I just want to make sure I'm not doing anything wrong."

"No, you're good!" Lev said, a little too quickly and a little too loudly, resulting in a small cringe from (f/n).

She got over it quickly and continued frowning. "Okay, I'm just making sure - ever since that one time I accidentally kneed you in the groin you've been avoiding cuddling, and I'm still super sorry about it, but I'm not sure how to fix it."

Lev moved back to the couch and covered his face with his hands. "Yaku-San told me that girls don't like it when the people they're dating are bad at cuddling. I've never had a lot of cuddling experience, and I don't want to be bad and make you not like me anymore, so I've been trying to avoid cuddling until I can get better at it." The sound of giggling caused Lev to move his hands, and he uncovered his eyes to find (f/n) laughing quietly, the expression on her face bright.

"Lev, I think that Yaku-San is just trying to be an ass," she admitted, the smile not leaving her face.

Lev's frown only grew. "But he and Kuroo-San and Taketora-San have all been making fun of me and telling me all kinds of things about why you won't like me. Like because my hands are too big and because I'm too clumsy and bad at controlling my arms and legs sometimes, and that I've gotta be careful about my breath so it doesn't smell bad when we kiss."

"The kissing advice was probably meant to be helpfully, but I think the rest are just jokes, Lev. You tell Kuroo-San that no girl is gonna like him if his hair stays all stupid, right?" Lev nodded slowly. "And you make fun of Yaku-San for being short?" Another nod from Lev. "And we all make fun of Taketora-San for not being able to talk to girls." Lev laughed at that, because it was true. "I don't think that they realized you were actually insecure about this things, but I didn't either - you're usually so confident."

"I just don't want to mess up and have you stop liking me."

(f/n) smiled sweetly and grabbed one of Lev's hands. "Well, I like your hands because they're always super warm, and I like how tall you are because I feel super tall when you give me piggyback rides, and I love your long limbs because when we cuddle they help you be a really good big spoon." Lev's smile grew, and he was now smiling at (f/n) as she was to him. "Plus, I've never had much experience at all with cuddling, so I'm not sure how to do it that well either. We've just gotta practice and move around until we find the most comfortable positions for us, okay?"

Lev nodded, smile officially at full capacity. "Let's get cuddling then," he said, immediately lying down on top of (f/n). She laughed loudly and wrapped her arms around Lev, happy that he was okay again. They stayed like that for a while, Lev's large body practically crushing (f/n)'s, but neither of them minded all that much. It was about ten minutes later that Lev spoke. "I'm gonna make fun of Yaku-San twice as much tomorrow," he mumbled to (f/n), and the girl was impressed with his lack of embarrassment.

"Good. Be sure to make fun of Kuroo-San too - I think his hair is getting worse, which I really thought was impossible."

Lev sat up at that, eyes wide. "I'm so happy somebody agrees that it's getting worse! I brought it up to Kenma-San and he said he didn't see it!"

(f/n) laughed, happy that Lev was finally back to himself. "We'll have to make fun of him for it tomorrow as payback for this."

Lev agreed before leaning down to kiss (f/n), and in the back of his mind he patted himself on the back for brushing his teeth after dinner. Once their kiss was done that moved to cuddle, and it only took one elbow to (f/n)'s face before they were comfortable. It was awkward, with Lev's legs dangling off the side and his arms tied around (f/n)'s body, but it was nice at the same time, all warm and cozy. (f/n) was happy, smiling up at Lev every once in a while, and that's all that really mattered.