I lay on the sofa feeling my breathing fasten. I know its wrong and that we shouldn't but I can't help myself as he buries his face into my neck slightly biting onto it.
"We shouldn't," I whisper my voice giving me away. I wanted to and although deep down a part of me was rejecting it, an even bigger part of me wanted to.
I deserve it.
He brings his kisses to the corner of my lips before our lips finally meet and once again our tongues slowly dance with each other.
He pushes himself onto me and only then can I feel how hard he is as we being to slowly grind against each other.
He slowly raises my hands over my head not bothering to break from the kiss or the rythm we've got going. His hands snake back to my waist urging me up to remove my shirt and bra leaving my chest completely open.
He let's out what seems to be a grunt as he stares at my breast. I hated how big they got because of how much breastfeeding I had been doing.
He mutters something in Italian looking up into my eyes. His eyes have hunger in them as they once again trail down my body in astonishment.
"You're so beautiful," he says. I can feel him getting harder has he rubs against me. My eyes close shut as I enjoy the closing and opening of my lips.
"Giovanni," I say my hands clinging onto his back. I dig deeper into his skin as our pace fastens.
"Please," I whisper pulling him closer to myself. "Make love to me," I say opening my eyes.
He slides both my pants and underwear off slowly spreading my legs apart as if rough movement would hurt me. He positions himself between my thighs urging me to open my eyes and look him in the eyes as our hands interlock and with that he enters me.
__
I wake up wrapped around Giovanni with him staring at me.
Our clothes lay scattered around and thank god the sofa was big because it would've been broken.
"Good morning," I say slowly.
This is exactly what I feared would happen.
The feeling was like staying out all night drinking and waking up the next morning. Expect I stayed up all night having sex with someone I swore I hated.
He brings his face to mine kissing my lips softly. "It's not morning," he says pulling away.
I didn't get the butterflies I got last night when he kissed me and deep down I know what that meant.
"What time is it then?" I ask pulling away.
"It was midnight when we came in here and we spent up to three hours making love, so I would say around three in the afternoon," he says pulling me back to him.
"What did you think about last night?" He asks wiping something off of my face.
I reminisce back everything from last night fills my wind. The never ending orgasms, how Giovanni kissed every single part of me, how gentle and selfless he was and how after attending to all of my needs, not expecting anything back from me.
"We shouldn't have," I say slowly. "I was vulnerable and allowed myself to let it happen."
"I knew you'd think like this," he says after a long silence. "But it wasn't a mistake on my behalf, we did nothing wrong."
"Yes we did," I say turning to face him. "This is what I ran away from and here I am in bed with it."
"Maybe that's fates way of telling us something."
He closes his eyes.
"Look at it this way, I know we aren't good for each other- I'm not good for you actually but good or not I love you more than that cop or anyone else will," he says after a long pause.
"Giovanni," I say shaking my head. "You don't understand, this is why I almost killed my baby and I can't just easily hop back into a relationship with you as easily as I hopped into bed with you."
He reaches for something behind me. After putting on his pants, he hands me my shirt.
"You're right, this was a mistake," he says bitterly.
"I did-"
"You don't have to explain yourself," he says handing me my bra. "I get it, feels weird to be the one being used for sex."
"I didn't use you for sex," I say putting on the rest of my clothes. "We were both confused."
"Sure didn't sound confused to me when you were screaming my name but," he turns around to face me. "I was just a sex provider, nothing more, what would I know?" He asks.
"Please don't be like this," I say standing up.
"Be like what Nadiyah?" He asks furiously running his fingers through his hair. "You shouldn't have ever ran up to me that day at the beach or allowed me to meet Luc or had sex."
"You shouldn't have ever left me in this house," I say.
"You shouldn't have ever gotten raped!" He says angrily.
Silence fills the room as he realizes just what he's said. I slouch back into the chair his words coming back to me as well as that dark room and everything I had been running from last night and trying to get out of my head.
"It's my fault," I say softly.
"Nadiyah," he says slowly. His back was towards me but I can tell from his voice that he was thinking of what to say or do to make up for it.
But no.
It's too late.
__
READ: By no means do I plan on rushing this book so understand that this has got a long ways to go and no relationship is permanent. With that being said, if you belive Nadiyah belongs with Giovanni, cool. If you belive she belongs with Jonathan, cool. And if you believe neither of them deserve her then that's cool as well. Just remember that I am the writer and have the final say as much I love your suggestions on who should be with who. Now that my rant is over, lol can we all agree that we love Lester?
