I wake up to find Abraham's arm on me and let out a long sigh.
I was a terrible person.
How could I betray Giovanni like this? I slept with one of his best friends and I enjoyed it. That wasn't suppose to happen. None of this was suppose to happen and yet here I was.
I reach over for my phone and remove myself from the bed. It was almost 6 in the morning and the last thing I needed was a guilt talk from anyone in that house.
"Hey," Abraham says sitting up. "You're leaving already?"
"Yeah," I say sliding on my pants. "Luc needs me."
"Don't use Luc as an excuse. He's probably fast asleep. You just don't want anyone knowing," he says looking for something on the ground.
"It was wrong. So, so wrong," I say slumping down.
"If you could do it again, would you?" He asks looking me in the eye.
"I thought so," he says after I say nothing back in response.
"I have to go," I say finally. "You're right."
"About?"
"Both," I say quietly.
"I'll drive you back."
"No what if-"
He cuts me off and slides on his pants as well.
"I'll handle that if that it comes up," he says sternly. "Just worry about getting back to Luc."
I bite my lip and nod my head.
After getting dressed we begin driving back and a comfortable silence fills the car. We finally pull up to the house and we both sit in the car.
I finally get up and close the door and slowly walk out.
He follows me and closes the door.
"Could you ever see it happening," he asks. "You and I?"
I don't respond.
"Nadiyah," he says turning me around. His lips land on mine and we stay like that for a minute.
Finally he pulls away from the kiss and his hold on my hand loosens.
"Think about it," he says rubbing his thumb over my lips.
"Goodnight," I whisper climbing up the stairs.
__
I wake up to the weight of a body on the edge of the bed.
"Sorry," Giovanni says realizing he woke me up. "I just-"
"You're fine," I say sitting up.
Luc stares between the two of us as if he senses the awkward the tension between us.
We sit like that for forever until finally he chuckles.
"What?" I ask.
"He's getting chubby," he says laying Luc down on his stomach.
"No he is not," I say staring at Luc.
I continue to stare at him and sigh.
"Well, not that chubby," I add on.
We continue to stare at him and eventually both begin laughing along with Luc.
Finally, the laughing dies down and we both then realize how close we are to each other.
"I'm sorry," he says finally standing up. He opens his mouth to say something after starting at me for a while and stops. "I shouldn't have woken you up, Diyah."
"It's fine," I say meeting his eyes.
We stare at each other for a while and finally, he looks up. The look in his eyes .. regret? Love?
No.
"I just wanted to say bye to Luc," he says quietly. He lays Luc on the bed and walks towards the door.
"Okay," I say smiling. "Well bye."
"Bye, Nadiyah," he says closing the door.
The look in his eyes once again appears in my head and I shake it off.
No..
It wasn't there, I'm making it up. He loves Kat, not me. He's married to Kat, not me.
She won.
I lost.
I couldn't loose. Not to her. Not after I went through hell and back for this relationship and family.
I put Luc in his crib and open the door and follow Giovanni downstairs until he and I are facing face to face.
"Giovanni," I say hearing the crack in my voice. "Tell me the truth."
"About what, Nadiyah?" He asks.
"Do you or do you not love me?" I ask. "You do.. you have to. I-I can't loose you again. I can't raise Luc on my own. He needs you but not as much as I need you," I say feeling a tear slipping down my face. "You're lying to me aren't you? You do love me," I say shaking.
His eyes hold no emotion as he doesn't even bother to look in my face.
"Look at me," I say moving his head towards mine. "I'm the same, I'm your Diyah. Do you remember that? Yours! You told me not less than three months ago that I was the one you wanted and no one else. Y-you told me that you l-l-loved me and you would rather die than be without me?" I say tasting my salty tears in my mouth.
"Am I not the same Nadiyah who you were willing to loose everyone else for?" I question searching his eyes. "Huh? Am I not the same Nadiyah that you loved?" I ask.
He doesn't say anything and continues to stare at me.
"Say something," I croak out. "Please.. say something. That.. that you love me and-"
"I'm sorry, Nadiyah," he says lifting my head up. He stares into my eyes and that look once again returns.
"I don't."
