I climb up the stairs and let out a sigh as the empty room welcomes me in. I can feel Luca's eyes on me as I make my way towards him and his crying finally slows down.
"Hi big boy," I say picking him up from his crib. "What's wrong?"
"He's getting too big for his crib," Giovanni says appearing at the corner of the door. "I think it's time for a new crib or maybe even a bed, whichever you choose."
"Um, yeah," I say not bothering to face him.
How could I?
"Look, im sorry," he says taking a step towards me. "I don't.. I don't know, I don't want you getting hurt by me again and this seems like the only way."
"I get it," I say my voice shaking. "It's fine, Giovanni."
"It's not, Nadiyah," he says turning me to face him.
"What do you want from me?" I ask putting a distance between us. "It was your choice."
"You're right," he says after a while. "I'll send someone to get the bed for Luc with you tomorrow, goodnight," he says closing the door behind him.
__
I wake up and quickly shower before making my way downstairs.
I bump into a figure and feel hands securing me right before I fall. They snake around my waist and stay there.
"Thank you," I say breathlessly knowing who it is automatically.
"Sure," Abraham says slowly letting me go. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I say feeling my throat become dry.
We stand like that for a while before both heading into the kitchen at the same time.
"What happened last night," he starts off siting at the head of the table. "I shouldn't have.. I shouldn't have kissed you."
"I shouldn't have asked you to kiss me," I say clearing my throat.
And I shouldn't have liked it.
"About that other thing you said," he says now clearing his throat. "You're right. I do love you. I've learned to and even though I know it'll never work out, I can't help but love you."
"Abraham.."
"I don't know what it is about you that draws in trouble but.. here I am as well," he says reaching for a coffee.
"I.. I don't know," I say meekly.
"Of course you don't. You just got out of a relationship. I don't know what I'm trying to tell you or if it's just the idea of ravaging you that I want more than anything else but I want you," he says looking at me. His eyes stay on mine and I quickly look down.
There's a voice that comes down the stairs and I see Giovanni with Luc on his back.
"Morning," I say not bothering to look up.
I would be lying if I said our conversations from last night didn't make me crying and although it had been a week since he told me in the hospital, it just hit me last night.
Giovanni didn't want to be with me anymore.
"Here," he says handing Luc to me. "You left him in bed by himself, that was a first."
"I.. sorry," I say finally finding my voice.
"Lester," Abraham says turning his chair slightly. His hand rubs against my bare thighs and he notices it as well.
