Good & Broken

Decisions

LA, USA
May 21st, 2020
Miley's POV

"Wanna tell me? If you don't want to, that's totally fine with me."

"Katie...I wanna get an abortion." I say, tearing up. Then she frowns.

"Okay..." She says, looking unsure of what else to say. "Wait, why are you telling me this?"

"Because, I need your help. And you're the only one I can turn to because no one else knows about this. And because you know how I'm feeling right now about the whole baby thing and not being ready." I explain.

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Well, I don't know. I need your help with deciding-"

"If you should get an abortion or not?" Katie asks, cutting me off.

"Yeah, kinda." I say after nodding. Then she sighs a big sigh.

"Miley, if I tell you how I feel about abortions then that would influence you on making your decision. You'll think I'd hate you if I was against them, and you'd lean on me for support if I was for them."

"Please Katie, I'm begging you. Just help me out."

"How am I supposed to help you?"

"Please Katie...just- just tell me. How do you feel about them?" I beg.

"Miley-"

"No Katie, seriously. I don't think you really understand. I really do need your help."

"How is my opinion gonna help you make your decision?" She asks, then I frown.

"I don't know. Maybe if I get your opinion on what you think about them it'll help."

"Yeah, it'll help you make your decision because it'll influence you."

"No, okay. I wanna know your opinion on them, but I also want you to tell me what you think based on how I'm feeling right now." Then Katie sighs.

"Fine." She agrees. "I'm not a fan. I really don't like them. But I'm not one of those protesters that'll stand in front of someone's house, or on the street and hold up signs. And I also think people should really take responsibility for what they did and for what's growing inside them. I do believe it's a human being. If it has a heartbeat, it's alive. Now, please don't make your decision based on what I just told you."

"I won't. Now, what do you think right now based on what I've told you?"

"I think it's really up to you. But I know you're stressed. I know you don't wanna be reminded of Liam all the time, even though you already have Jessica. I know you don't want the babies. I know you can't have them, being you don't wanna deal with more. I can't tell you what to do or what not to do. It's your body, it's your life, it's your decision." Then I start to cry again. I look at Jessica, playing with her toys and continue to cry. "I know you're going through a really hard time. I know you're stressed. I know you have absolutely no idea what to do. So, do you want me to watch Jessica for a couple days?"

"I don't wanna make you do something that you don't even wanna do. I don't wanna make Lucas do something he doesn't wanna do either." I say, trying to stop crying.

"Miley, I would be happy to watch Jessica. I don't even really care what Lucas thinks. If you want me to watch her, I'd be happy to. And I'll make Luke like it." Then I smile a small smile, I'm glad she wants to watch her. Not feeling like she has to.

"Thank you. That means a lot." Then she hugs me. "I can't believe this is all happening..."

"I'm sure you're shocked. You gotta know something though, Miley."

"What?" I ask.

"Whatever you choose-- it's your choice. It has to be your choice. Don't let anyone influence you, or pressure you into doing something you don't wanna do. Just because I'm personally against abortions, doesn't mean you should follow me. Do what you feel like you need to do. Alright?"

"Okay..." Then I wipe my tears.

"Mommy?" Jessica asks, walking up to me. She walks to my legs, and puts her hands on them. She looks up at me with a worried look.

"Hi Jessica." I say, trying not to cry. Looking at her really made the decision hard as hell.

"You okay mommy?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay." Then I pick her up and set her on my lap. "Katie?"

"Yeah?" Katie asks me.

"Why am I not showing yet? I should be showing. I'm at twelve weeks. I went on Google and it said some show at ten. Even as early as eight. It said I should definitely be showing by twelve. Why am I not showing?" I reply nervously.

"I'm sure you're showing a little. You're wearing a baggy shirt, I'm sure you're showing at least a little." Then I stand up and put Jessica on the couch where I was sitting. I lift my shirt up, exposing my stomach. It's completely flat, I wasn't showing at all. Katie looks at me weird, and raises an eyebrow.

"See?" Then I put my shirt down, pick up Jessica, and sit on the couch again.

"Mommy why you show tummy?" Jessica asks, then I take a deep breath.

"Uhm..."

"She was showing me her tummy. Just because." Katie says.

"Okay." Jessica says, then looks up at me. "Mommy I tired." Then she yawns and rubs her eyes.

"I know, baby. Wanna go spend a couple days at Katie's?" Then Jessica grins.

"Yeah!"

"Okay then. Katie will watch you while I pack you a bag. Is that okay Katie?"

"Mhm, go ahead." Then I nod before walking into Jessica's room. I pack her a bag to go to Katie and Luke's house, and walk out with it. I set it on the coffee table and look at Jessica with tears in my eyes.

"Don't cry mommy I be back!" Jessica says, which makes me laugh.

"I love you Jessy." Then I walk over and pick her up. "You be good for Katie and Luke okay?"

"Okay mommy." Then I hand her to Katie.

"I'll get her bag. I'll let you keep her carseat in there, that way we don't have to switch cars or anything." Then Katie nods. I grab Jessica's bag and walk out to Katie's car with her and Jessica. Katie puts Jessica in her carseat and I put Jessica's bag in the passenger seat.

"Okay, just let me know when you want her back." Katie says with a smile, then hugs me. "Remember. Whatever you decide-- know it's your choice and make it your choice, no one else's. And know that whatever you choose, is gonna be your decision. And I'm sure you'll listen to your heart and know what you wanna and need to do."

"Thanks for being such a good friend. I love you." Then I hug her back.

"I love you too Miley, let me know what you choose. I'll support you. Not matter what you decide because I know you're gonna do what's best for you and only you." Then I tear up, and Katie gets in her car. She drives off, and I walk back in the house.

I sit on the couch, lean back, and look at my stomach.

"What am I gonna do with you two?"