My Host; Namjin

Namjoon

      I should stop. I need to stop. I don't know what the hell I'm doing as I pin Jin under me. His eyes are filled with tears and fear and his cheek is red where I hit him. His naked body his writhing under me trying to break free as I watch him with an unreadable expression.
This is my best friend. Why am I doing this? Why do I not want to stop! I look away from the sexy terrified beauty underneath me and try to reason with myself. I didn't come here to do this but when he got down on his knees before me I lost it. I've never imagined him like that and seeing it for me in real life wrecked me.
     When I kissed him and tasted his delicious vanilla breath and he pushed me away I snapped. Fucking snapped. How can he fuck with my head like this? He would rather be with Hoseok than me! I can't let that go. I have to show him I'm much better than anyone else he could ever be with!
    I need him to know just how much I can rock his world! With these thoughts running through my head I continue my assault on his mouth as he whimpers under me. I pull back a little and push his hair out of his eyes.

      "Why am I not good enough for you?" I ask in annoyance.
      He licks his lips and I'm instantly brought back to that tongue on my dick. I thrust my hips up against his to get that delicious friction.
       "Please, Joon-ah! D-don't do this.." fresh tears run down his face as I wipe them away. For some reason the fact that being with me makes him cry angers me to no end. He hates me that much? What am I? Garbage to him?
       "Stop the act! I'm sure you do this all the time, right? You should be ready and begging me for this, right?" I bite his earlobe and he flinches.
       "Why are you doing this to me?" He finally breaks down and begins to sob. I glare at him and sit up.
        "Why are you fucking crying, Seokjin! Am I that bad to you? You hate me this much!" I yell at him and finally get off him. He curls into a ball and tugs the blanket over his body. His sobs become louder as I exit the bedroom and sit back down on the sofa to drink some more. I realize that I still have my pants sliding down my legs so I kick them off and relax in only my boxers as I take my shirt off as well feeling way too hot in the room.
     My erection still throbs as I ignore it for alcohol.

       Eventually I open my eyes when I hear Jin come out of the bedroom. His eyes are red and puffy and he's put his pants back on much to my irritation. I eye him as he sits across from me and takes a glass, filling it with the second bottle of champagne. He drinks it down as I watch mesmerized as his Adam's apple bobs sensually.
      My lost erection begins to plump back up. My gaze trails down to his naked chest. His pale skin is flawless and soft. I want to touch him. I reach over and run my finger down his supple chest and his startled eyes meet mine.
"You're gorgeous, you know that?" I slur against his ear before leaning back in my seat. He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and the notion makes my dick ache.
"Namjoon..I think you need to sleep off that coming hangover and I need to go." He stands up slowly, fluidly and my eyes follow every movement of his body. My feet move before my brain even realizes what I'm doing as I wrap my arms around his waist trapping him here with me.
"Stay." I demand or try to. It comes out more as a strangled plea. "I miss you, Jin-ah." I whisper as I bury my face in his neck. He smells so good.
He doesn't move and I take it as a good sign as I let my hands trail up over his hard body. How come I never realized how beautiful he is? I've know this man forever and yet..I'm feeling things now that make no sense.
I spin him around to face me but his eyes look around me..through me. I softly press my lips against his, running my tongue over his soft bottom lip. He lets me explore his mouth for several seconds before gently pushing me back.
I ignore the pain in my chest as he looks away from me. I bet I look pathetic to him. "Come home, Jin." I say.
"I have my own apartment now so I don't need to. You can rent my room out if you want." He sighs, still avoiding my eyes. This is it. He's leaving me for good.
"Please, don't do this. Don't cut me out of your life, Seokjin." I plead but he just shakes his head as he leaves the room to retrieve his shirt.
He comes back and finally meets my watery eyes. "Just so you know I am still a virgin. I've never slept with any of my clients." His glare cuts right through me. He pushes passed me and walks out the door. I collapse against the wall and slide down it to the floor. I close my eyes as nausea comes over me. I've lost my best friend.