My Host; Namjin

Seokjin

          It's been exactly three days, 15 hours, and 10 minutes since that horrible reality check..not that I'm counting. Jimin and Kookie have been so good to me. They keep bringing me food and drinks and trying to entertain me but I honestly just want to be alone-although I appreciate their efforts for me. They can't give me what I really want-and that's to forget everything and live in ignorant bliss.
         If only I hadn't of gotten impatient I wouldn't have been the wiser..but that's stupid of me because I'd want to know if I'm being cheated on. I just can't take this heartbreak. As far as I know, throughout all of Namjoon's past relations he never once cheated on them- so why me? Why am I not good enough?
         I truly thought he loved me but I was dead wrong. He's just played me this whole fucking time. And I let him. I gave him the most important part of me and he happily took it away without remorse. How do I live through this?
        I've finally stopped crying so much, though, I haven't left my bed in all this time. I need to be strong and rejoin the world. I guess now that I'm single I can go back to working...I know Taemin would be overjoyed if I went back to work but it just seems unappealing to me. I have to do something, though. The bills won't pay themselves.
        Heaving a heavy sigh, I search for my phone but soon realize I left it in my car a couple days ago. I reluctantly get dressed in my favorite pair of sweats-not thinking about how many times Namjoon's taken them off me-and a pink hoodie. I walk down to my car not really looking at my surroundings.
        I dig through my car until I find my phone dead in the backseat. I take it and slip it in my pocket, turning back towards the apartment. 
          "Jin! Jin, please.." I freeze when I hear his voice. I look over to see Namjoon getting out of his car and coming towards me. I swallow down tears and take off as fast as I can to my apartment. He follows right behind me all the while calling my name.
        "Leave me alone! Go away.." I hiss as I run up the stairs, knowing I can't handle being trapped in an elevator with him. He chases after me up the stairs begging for me to talk to him. "Stop it!" I scream as he reaches me and tugs my sleeve, forcing me to stop.
       He corners me and I see his face puffy and red with tears but I can't understand why he's so upset. I didn't fuck up his life and mind like he's done to me. I shove him back and he clutches the hall and his chest like I've shot him. Dramatic asshole.
         "What part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand? I though you were smart." I snarl out angrily while crossing my arms over my chest to protect against he aching pain coming back.
         "Jinnie, please. Baby let me-"
         "Don't call me that! And I'm not your baby!" I hiss and turn away from him. He grabs my arm to hold me in place from running and I close my eyes and just try o breath. His scent and cologne clog my senses and I feel more stupid traitorous tears escaping my eyes.
          "Ok! Ok...I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Jin. Please believe me...it wasn't what it looked like-"
         "Oh? I'm sorry-I thought I saw you shoving your dick inside some naked guy at your studio? I didn't see that? Really? You know what? Fuck you, Namjoon!" I glare at him and release all my anger. "I'm so fucking glad I found out the type of person you are now before it was too late and I moved in with you!" I laugh but there's no humor in it.
         "No! It's not-"
         "Get out of my face! I never want to see you again!" I scream and push him. I run up the stairs and slam the door on him as I race to my apartment and lock the door before he can try and get in. I slide down the door and collapse on the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs as I break down. I hate him so much..but I still love him just as much...I need him...so I can breathe..