Seokjin and Namjoon have been friends and roommates for years. They were pretty close but lately Seokjin begins to become more distant from his friend and more secretive. The truth that Jin doesn't want Namjoon to know that he lost is last job and i...
It's been a month since we've moved into our house and I've started back working. A month of constant longing for Namjoon to just wrap me in his arms and kiss me like he used to. I know that he doesn't for my sake but it honestly just makes me feel unwanted. I know I'm the one who told him to just be roommates but it's killing me to see him everyday as his warm smile melts me inside and not touch him. I want him to whisper in my ear how much he loves me but instead I'm stuck in a cold lonely bed every night pretending not to stare at the room across the hall. So close yet so far away. I also know he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking..but I'm always looking. I've been catching myself more and more frequently just conveniently being everywhere his is. I purposely chose to make the basement the laundry room so that I can basically stalk him while he's down working on his new studio. I really need to stop. Or tell him how I feel. I want to be his again. I miss the relationship we shared and it's killing me and yet I can't find it in me to say the words. For some reason I feel like if I say it out loud, what I want, that I'm letting myself down or something which is stupid because deep down all I want is my Joonie back. He's waiting for me to take that first step and I don't understand why I can't do it. Something's holding me back and I just haven't figured it out yet. I've been struggling internally with myself since I started back Hosting. My new partner, Jackson is a great and funny guy. Makes me laugh a lot and is eager to learn everything he can about the job. I love working with him because he takes the lead and mostly takes care of the customers practically by himself while still giving me undeserved credit. I feel like if I touch my clients-even a little-I'll be cheating and abusing Namjoon's trust but it's really not the case because we still aren't back together. It's just how I feel and I can't change that mindset. "Jin-ah!" Jackson smiles widely as he comes to stand beside me holding a paper. I eye it curiously as he waves it around. "Yeah?" I nod to his hands. "What's that?" "We have a huge profit coming tonight. Taemin says it's a big VIP customer and we have to give it our all. We need to be in the hotel by seven but I figured we can head out a little early to set up." He says excitedly. I know he needs the money so this is really good for him. Unfortunately, for me, I know a VIP customer means I can't get out of having sex with them. I can't back out, either and leave Jackson on his own. I know Taemin has probably already explained they'll be two of us. I fake enthusiasm and go with him to get ready. The way we've been doing things lately is I'll work the customer up first the. Jackson usually ends up being the one ha ind sex with them while I clean up. Luckily I've gotten out of real sex every time but something tells me tonight will be different. I'm a nervous wreck as we grab something to eat before going to the hotel. Jackson notices. "You ok?" He asks, sipping his smoothie. "Yeah, just tired." I lie as I push my untouched door around my plate. He eyes me with concern. "Jin-ah, you don't have to go if you don't want to. Taemin said the client specifically asked for you but I can lie and say you had an emergency." He offers, reaching his hand out over mine comfortingly. As great as that sounds, I can't do that to him. "It's fine, Jackson. I just don't understand why he asked specifically for me, though." I muse anxiously. "I don't know, he didn't say." He shrugs as his phone rings. He answers it happily. "Hey boss, what's up?" He frowns as the caller, who I'm assuming is Taemin, talks in rushed tones. "What? But...no...ok, if you're sure. Bye." He looks up at me apologetically as I stare at him in confusion. "What is it?" "I'm so sorry. Hyung, but I can't go with you tonight. Taemin told me something came up and a last minute appointment was scheduled for me and I can't turn it down. I'll be getting paid double my usual. I don't want to leave you but since Taemin said this client wants you anyway that you'll just have to go alone.." he trails off. I take a deep breath and nod in understanding. "It's ok, not your fault. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?" I ask and he nods before finishing up to leave for his new client. I can't help but feel a little betrayed-not at Jackson but my boss. I can't believe he's doing this to me without even consulting me first. It's very unlike him. I throw my food away as I've lost my appetite and drive home to get ready. No ones home as enter and I wonder what Namjoon's doing for the 100th time. I choose my clothing wisely since this is a very important client. I pick my long neglected black silk dress shirt with my favorite pair of black skinny jeans that hug my body tight. I fix my hair to fall around my eyes just so and spray on some cologne. Once I've deemed myself ready I head out reluctantly to see my client. This will be my first solo since before I quit and I feel sick just thinking about it. I refuse to let Taemin and even Jackson down, though, so I suck it up and follow through. The drive to the hotel is much shorter than I want it to be and before I know it I'm standing in front of the penthouse suite afraid to knock on the door. I argue with myself for at least five minutes before making my presence known. No one answers so I try the handle it opens easily. I walk inside the empty room and call out for the owner. No answer. I notice a piece of paper at the bar with a piece of silk cloth. I read the paper anxiously. Go into the bedroom and put on the blindfold. It demands. Feeling unsettled, I do as told and walk into the huge room to sit on the large king size bed with red silk sheets. I apply the blindfold dutifully and wait... About two minutes later I feel hands on me. I jump in surprise but before I can speak lips attach themselves to my own. My gasp is swallowed as this stranger invades my mouth with their tongue. I throw my hands out to steady myself and find hold on the stranger'a shoulders. I hear metal clinking to together before I realize what's happening as handcuffs slam on my wrists to attach to the headboard. I begin to panic as fingers tug at my clothing until I'm left in nothing but my briefs. Cold air chills me as a tongue licks down my collarbone to my navel.
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I can't see anything or move anything except my legs as I'm left to the mercy of my client. I force my labored breathing out as I try to imagine this person as Namjoon. I imagine it's his soft hands rubbing my thighs and his wet tongue tangling with mine. I wish it were him as my underwear is quickly disposed of without a word. It scares me more that he doesn't speak to me as he ravages my shaking body. "P-please..." I moan as he sucks the skin of my neck, biting gently. I don't know what I want as I trail off, losing my voice. I'm terrified as I lay trapped and naked, vulnerable as the client leaves the bed for a few moments. When he returns I gasp as he strokes my forced erection in his warm palm. I can't stop myself for getting turned on and hate myself. My body should only be for my Joonie. I cry out as a mouth wraps around my sensitive length, sucking my head before swallowing me down his throat. My body arches as pleasure takes over my senses and my wrists hurt from straining inside the cuffs. "Ah..ugh...mhmmm.." I can't stop the noises from coming out of my open mouth as he brings me closer and closer to release. He stops right before I'm thrust over the edge and I cry as he gets up. My throbbing erection falls onto my quivering stomach as I heave for air, trying to gain control of myself. "Please...stop. I d-don't want to." I plead but receive no answer. I can hear movement around me and eyes on me and I flush as self consciousness fills me. I hate being so exposed and just want to stop everything. Why am I so stupid. Tears burn my eyes as I struggle with my restraints. Hands hold me still as the weight of a body is placed over me. "Let me go." I demand as he grips my arms and takes my mouth once more, forcefully shoving his tongue inside my mouth. I try to turn my head but he grabs a handful of my hair and holds me still. I gasp and cry as he moves down my body and forces my thighs apart. I sob as he pulls me open for his eyes to see my most secret parts. I don't want this...please...Namjoon-ah...save me...a finger strokes over my hole before pushing inside me making me jerk. No! No, no no...don't...no words leave my throat as I choke when he adds more fingers inside me. I try to just breathe through the panic surfacing and just pretend the hands touching me so intimately are my boyfriend..I close my eyes and lose myself in the touches and just pretend..."Ah..Joonie-ah.." I whimper as he thrusts his finger deeply inside me. Just keep pretending..
