Jerk Theory (Punk Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 45

Chapter Songs:

You & I by: One Direction

*Louis' P.O.V

"Louis. Why are you out here instead of eating lunch?" I shrug.

"Not hungry I guess." I say looking down at the ground.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not. I wasn't hungry so I just came out here what is wrong with that?"

"Just talk to me Louis. I'll listen. Why did you choose the soccer field to go to?" I can't tell her I'm here because of her.

"I don't know I just got up and ended up here." That's not technically a lie.

"Louis. Look at me." I can't do it. Sure it seems easy but easier said than done.  I shake my head telling Alyssa I dont want to look at her. 

"Why not Louis?" 

"Because I need to think that's why I came out here to begin with." There is a silence between us for a couple minutes. After a while I have to ask her why shes out here to begin with. Shouldn't she be at lunch with her "goodie two shoes" boyfriend. 

"Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be with your new boyfriend?" 

"Louis. Is that what this is about?" I don't say anything I just stay quiet. If I look at her right now my heart will surely break to pieces because she isn't mine. She's Ashton's. Damn Ashton. She doesn't know what she's getting herself into. He will make her feel on top of the world, then break her. Break her in ways I would never think of. Especially not to a girl. 

"Louis. Just tell me exactly what you feel. Don't shut me out. I want you to let me in. I want to see every emotion." I look up at her. I can feel my eyes start to water, but I hold the tears in to keep the last bit of pride I have left in me. I lost her because of my pride, and I only have so much pride left in me. 

"I'm going to completely loose you after you find out who Ashton really is. You think you know him but you don't he's using you to get what he wants. He wants to get back at me. Go ahead and defend him telling me that I'm wrong, I've heard it all before. He's your boyfriend, you're supposed to take his side and defend him. I really wish it was me but I screwed up and I have felt sorry for it ever since. I just want to hold you, kiss you and hear you laugh again. Not laugh because we are 'friends' but really laugh for absolutely no reason. I only want what's best for you, and I know I'm not the best, I drink, smoke, have a temper, I'm awful with kids, my sisters only love me because they have to. I'm the only one that takes care of them. My mother for crying out loud sleeps around with her co-workers to get extra money. I have such a fucked up life and nothing in my life makes since. None of except one thing. And that's you Alyssa." 

*Alyssa's P.O.V 

After Louis' long confession, I say an entirely different side of him that I've never seen. Saddness. He was actually showing me that he regrets his decisions and now they are eating away at him. He's scared that I won't be the same girl he met four months ago. 

"Lou-" 

"No don't talk yet." He interrupts me. "Alyssa, you made me feel loved. Not because you have to but because you do, you make me want to be a better person but I have so many issues that I don't know if I could ever stay this way. I'm trying to stay out of trouble because I know how you kept telling me that you won't date me if I end up in jail. You knew I had a temper and I fight people when I'm angry, or drink and throw the bottles all over my room making it look like trash. I know I have lied to you about things, and you don't know everything, like that bet. You don't know the whole reason behind the bet. I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell you why I started it back up, but besides all the fucked up shit I've done I would never lie when I tell you I love you. I really do, but don't let me be the one to ruin your fantasy boyfriend."

"So you do your deep thinking at the field?" He nods. 

"Yeah, it started after my dad had been constantly coming home drunk and hurting my sisters and my mom. I needed to escape so it was usually after their daily beating as he called it. My dad hated me anyways which made me hate myself. I would come down to the feilds and kick the ball around just to clear my head. This usually went from four to five hours. I would come in sometime between tweleve and one in the morning. This is actually my first time on a field since the beginning of the season in year 10.

"I was kicked off my own team that I was captain of. The other players who were Juniors and Seniors didn't like that I was a Sophmore and made captain. One night, they invited the boy's to hang out with them. Well them had gotten us to smoke some weed that night knowing that the team was being drug tested the next day and I think you can finish the story from there." 

A/N: How about that? What do you think will happen? What is so bad about Ashton? How does Louis know so much? Comment and Vote!!!

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Until Next time,
Grow a dog
Plant a pig and get bacon
And bite a cactus

-Autumn<3