Chasing Sya

Unworthy

"Sya?" Ju Long said as he touched Sya's shoulder and shook her. She has stopped talking and her eyes seemed to have lost themselves in memories.

Ju Long's gentle shake brought Sya back from her nightmares. Sya sighed loudly then drank a few more gulps of wine in an unladylike manner then put down the empty jug down.

"The more we won in the Arena of Blood, the more my Father tested us." Sya said as she looked at the bright white moon. "If it wasn't me, it was me and Ai, then it would be me, Ai and my Shade Hunters against our opponents. In the end, my Father didn't care for us. He wanted the strongest child to be his heir. As I grew up, there were more and more half siblings borne into the household. So many that I didn't care to ask what their names were anymore for I did not know when they would die. And my heart could not take knowing another of my siblings dying in the Arena by the hands of another sibling."

Sya looked at Ju Long. Her deep sea blue eyes shined with sorrow and guilt.

"I couldn't take it any more. All the killings that my Father made us do. I couldn't take killing my siblings anymore, so I planned for five years to run away. And I did it. With Ai, with my Shade Hunters... the nine of us fought my Father's men who chased after us. We killed our way out of my Father's home. We ran away from his strong influence from the surrounding cities. We ran away for days without rest. We couldn't fly away because they would see us immediately, so we ran by foot. I didn't even know where I was going. But they believed in me. My Shade Hunters and Ai. They followed me, because they were given to me by my Father. They took an oath to protect me and stay by me, so wherever I went, they followed. They trusted in me, so they fought and killed beside me. In the end, we ran for five years. Five years of moving from village to city to country. We moved, never staying in one place for too long. Never making any friends or acquaintances. Never laying down roots."

Sya looked back at the devastating handsome man who beside her and her heart skipped. His clear skin shined brightly against the moonlight making his jade like skin glow.

"For the past year, we slowly built Baozhai Restaurant in hopes to finally settle down. In hopes that my Shade Hunters will find someone they like and make a family and build a home with them. So they could live a normal life. I had hoped to lay down roots here in Vulean City. But my Father..." Sya sighed as she looked away from the dazzling man. "He will not stop looking for me. He will keep sending his men to come find me. He will not let me go. He will probably kill me the moment he catches me, but before he does, he'll torture Ai and my Shade Hunters in front of me, then he'll kill me. That I'm sure of."

Sya looked down at her hands. They were clean without a speck of dirt, but they were a lie.

"My hands are not clean. They are not hands of a pure, virtuous Lady. They are dirtied with blood. The blood of my enemies and the blood of my siblings. I kill to survive. I kill to breathe. I kill to live. I kill to protect those I love and care about. I am not the Wife you should marry. I am not the Wife that deserves your love and attention. I am not the perfect Wife that you seek. I can be vicious. I can be crude and rude. I don't have patience for a lot of things and usually kill before asking questions. I have no tact and usually just say what's on my mind." Sya glanced over at Ju Long and he had sat up in his chair as he listened. His hands were on his knees as he squeezed them tightly. "You think, you want to marry me because of my beauty, or because of my cooking, but I am more than my beauty and my cooking. I am more than what you see. And what I am, is unworthy of being married to you. A Duke. A man of standing with accomplishments. A man with goals and dreams. A man who will be the Head of Wei Clan in the future. By making me your Wife, I will only bring calamity to you and your family."

They sat there for a long time. Lost in each other's own thoughts. Sya sat there, giving Ju Long time to decide what he wanted to do. And yet, he did not speak. Sya acknowledge that Ju Long's silence was his answer. He will now break ties with her and would no longer call her his Wife. Her heart tugged tightly at that thought. Even though it was only for a short time, she would miss hearing him call her 'Wife.'

Sya stood up and began to leave Ju Long in the bamboo clearing. She had her answer. There wasn't any more reason to stay there. However, her foot stopped when she reached the bamboo tree line. For Ju Long had opened his mouth and began to talk.

"You are right." Ju Long said softly. His deep voice made Sya look back at his mesmerizing profile. "About one thing."

Ju Long stood up and walked slowly towards Sya. Sya could only watch as Ju Long made his way towards her and stopped right in front of her. His stormy grey eyes met her dark sea blue eyes and she could see how much anger he held inside of himself.

"The only correct thing you said is that you are more than what I see." Ju Long said as he took her hand into his and held her dainty hands in his. He squeezed her cold hands as he continued. "As for the rest of it. It's rubbish."