Will You ? | Rose [ In process of rewriting ]

Chapter LXXVII

I recommend listening to Mamamoo - Paint Me and K.A.R.D - Trust Me while reading this ! 

Chae-Young's POV

''Let's take a break..'' I gulped..holding the radiator  like my life depends on it , feeling my knees going weak ''F-From us...'' I want so bad to turn around..and beg to not..but all of this is because of me..I could just simple don't approve to play that game with Jennie unnie...all of this is my fault..

it is the day that she finally painted  me in Blue..representing my tears that are finally rolling down my cheeks.. ''I-I'll leave now..''  I nod..I don't dare to look at her or even speak with her..I felt all this time so good in her company..her arms..

I was painted in white before meeting her..I felt lonely..even If I had everything that I needed..I was having kinda of a peaceful life..I always did..

everything turned Yellow when she came into my life...before I even knew my heart was full of warmth....her special warmth that for me resembles the beautiful Spring...so naturally..

I am and I've had been painted over and over again..if somebody could see my heart now..i'm carved everywhere..like a tattoo..everywhere she touched is painted by different memories in different colours..and now they are getting darker..the black nights are soon coming..

I want her to keep painting me with more memories , to paint me quickly with her unique scents..To don't let me remove them..I don't want nobody but her to be painted in my heart..

Everything turned red when we first kissed..when we first hugged..when I told her who really I am..when we both enjoyed our first night...our first moment of talking..now I feel my heart bursting like a vulcano..those red marks will remain in my heart..even if now I feel broken and not having her next to me..those memories are still making me feel warm..

And now blue..the first day I cried because of her..but also because of my fault and how stupid I am..my tears are bursting ready to create an ocean that I don;t know the depth..I'm now painted in blue..

I need her to keep painting me..I need her next to me..I need her in my heart..To not allow me to push her away..but I did it without even permission..

It would be okay if I do get darker ? Now our own memories are running inside my head..they are  already getting darker like an espresso..I want her to paint over and over again..to don't stop..

What I'll do  now..without her i'm nothing..I need her to fill me with colours..to do not leave any empty places..like how they are becoming now..she is my only painter..

I felt like exploding..I laid on my bed..tears are running down my cheeks and i'm nothing to make them stop..I deserve all of this..I deserve her to break up with me..I'm staring at the ceiling like it is the most interesting thing in life..right now it really is..up there I can see all the memories..all the colours..

They'll keep me up , right ? They'll keep me strong , right ? ugh..Should I just kill myself ? I managed to hurt the most precious person in my life..and also get hurt too..I covered my face with my hands..I want to be strong..I want that so bad..I feel..empty..

She took my soul with her..my heart..my smile..my happiness..she;s the one owning it now..and that would never change..I also don't have to let nobody know how I feel..I need to keep it for myself..I need to not show it to the others..

I sat up..I feel weak..my tears are still racing on my cheeks until they are finishing it on my hands and bed..I sniff my nose..I want so bad to scream the hurt that I feel now..I want so bad to delete all of this..

I laid again..curling and hugging my legs..repeating how much it's hurts...she took half of me while leaving that damn door..I'll be strong..I have to..

Y/N'S POV

I open the door of my house feeling weak..I hold tight my shirt on the left side of my chest and walked upstairs..I trow myself on my bed and hug my pillow..why everything reminds me of her ? I just want to forget all of this..I trow my glasses somewhere in the room because of the anger and unbottoned my first two buttons that we're making me feel like suffocating..

Why is all of this happening to me ? Happening to us ? I again hugged my pillow and finally let the tears destroy it along with my make-up..I had trusted her...I had put all my into her..and this is how i'm getting treated back ? I still cannot believe it...I want it just to be a nightmare..

How I would be able to still meet her ? I still work as her Make-up artist and I can't be fired..I don't want that..I don't need that..I need that job..but I need her too..How I'll be able to do something if she would be there anymore as my lover ? Nor friend ? The tension between us will be the hardest among all..and the girls..and Jennie Unnie..I still can't disrespect her even if I would want to..

And why would she do that ? Wasn't supposed her to like me ? I don't see her liking me..if she was doing that..she won't sleep with my ex that , that time was still my Girlfriend..I just want to go back to her..but I have to keep it..I have to ignore that and hold my pride and ego..

I felt my phone vibrating..making me to take it out of my pocket and look at the notification from Soompi..

,,BlackPInk's Rose confirmed breaking up with Min Y/N on their CH+ Channel , as explaining by her message ,,Me and Y/N broke up..I guess some of you are happy of hearing that..Please do not hate her or Suga sunbaenim no matter what..all of it was my fault for being stupid and doing something like that to her..We'll be back soon blinks..and this time I'll try to solve my heart broken and come with new forces..Always take care blinks...respectly of your lover and think a thousand times before doing it once..,, 

More of BlackPink's fans are already revolting because of it...already leaving hate comments..

Stay tuned for more later,,

I wiped my tears and looked for my glasses on the floor..put them on and read it..so she already did somehow told the press..and it seems that she isn't feeling so bad that we broke up as she has time to post something..