His Weapon - Book 1 [Z.M]

I

Some think holding on makes us strong,
But sometimes it is letting go
-Hermann Hesse

     "You'll be fine Muna," Zayn whispered into my ear as he guided me towards the ballroom with his hand on my back. His voice that used to bring me so much comfort just left me empty. I wanted to get away from him.
The man I craved and wanted so much four months ago is now the man I wanted to be furthermost away from. That's the thing— it's in our nature, we humans. Love can easily turn to hate, resentment.
I crave Zayn in ways I have never craved any other man and his rejection made me grow to resent him. I craved his touch but also hated it because it made me fall deeper into his trap. He has so much power over me and four months ago it intrigued me but now it scares me.

I smiled weakly at him and nodded. It was our last night bound by his contract. The contract that I thought was going to give me the chance to change him, to make him intrigued by me as I was by him. Little did I know that his contract just added me to his list of women. I wasn't going to sign it a third time like he was expecting me to.
As much as it ached my heart, tonight was the last night I had to be with Zayn and I was going to have to take it as it came. Because as much as I convince myself that I hate him, I don't— that's why I have to leave him.
We entered the room full of elegant people, the old me would have felt out of place but being with Zayn has made me used to all these extravagant occasions. The only good thing, it has built my self-esteem in a way. He drew circles on my bare back as we approached familiar faces.

Mr Provenscal, an older man probably in his early sixties that I've grown to admire approached us with glee. I couldn't help but smile. Apparently, anyone can put a smile on my face except for Zayn.
     "The one and only Muna."
He gave me a quick hug which earned him a scowl from Zayn but the old man just ignored him. Zayn tightened his arm around my waist, it made me feel wanted before but now it just angered me— I still feel wanted.
I smiled kindly at the old man before me.
     "I'm glad you made it,"
He spoke cheerfully.
     "Happy Birthday, I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
I finally spoke. Of all the events Zayn had taken me to, this was the only one I was excited about. The handsome man's eyes lightened up and I genuinely smiled for the first time the entire day.
Zayn remained his normal self, just said a few words but I chatted away with Mr Provenscal who had told me to call him Charles several times.
Sixty-four never looked any better.

After a long time of chatting with champagne glasses in our hands, Charles excused himself, leaving Zayn and me alone. I turned to see him staring directly at me.
     "You are acting strange Muna," He said as he assessed my features. I didn't want to but I looked at him with so much love and admiration. I wanted to touch him but I knew better, the last thing I wanted was to get corrected.
     "No I'm just feeling a little bit tired sir," I said with disdain, the word 'sir' left a sour taste in my mouth. I was only allowed to call him Zayn when we weren't alone but when we are I have to call him sir. He is my boss after all.