His Weapon - Book 1 [Z.M]

L

Can I
Really blame
You for leaving
If I never held
On in the
First place
- Michaela Angemeer

Rachel Chinouriri - So My Darling

ZAYN'S POV
I didn't want to but I let her detangle her body from mine and watched her roll her suitecase out of my room. I was absolutely numb.
At first I craved Kimberly and I missed her touch and desperately needed her but as I had sex with her, all I could think about was Muna. I was full of regret but didn't know how to get her away from me. All I did was stare at the ceiling as she drew circles on my chest until I passed out.
The hurt I saw on Muna's face when she saw us killed me. It took all the life I had in me and fuck if I could've killed myself for hurting her I would have.
. . . And now she's gone. I've lost her and I didn't know how to feel. If I truly love Kimberly then why am I so fucking bleeding from within right now? My heart was completely shattered as I just stared at the wall.
I was angry, confused and hurt. She promised to never leave me but yet she has walked out on me, making it clear that it's for the best. Who gave her the fucking right to decide for me?

Who the hell does she think she is to tell me what is best for me? I growled angrily and before I could stop myself, different items began to fly across the room. I was so fucking angry, I could explode.
I wanted to stop her but there was something holding me back. I couldn't move my body to run after her like I wanted to.
I'm bad for her. I was letting her go for now not because of me but because she deserves to be free. She deserves someone who would love her dearly and I couldn't give her that.
The door flew open and it was until then I stopped breaking things. Doniya was the last person I wanted to see and having her stand before me made me a thousand times angrier.

I could tell she was frightened from the look on her face. I wanted to blame her and everyone else but I only actually had myself to blame. I shouldn't have given her the slightest room to feel like she wasn't what I wanted. I should've held Kimberly's small hands firmly and tell her sternly that I didn't want to engage in any intimate activities with her.
     "What?"
I composed myself but her eyes shifted from mine to the room that I had destroyed. She ignored my question and stared at me in an attempt to read my eyes.
     "I want to be alone."
I added but she ignored me as she began picking stuff from the floor. My entire world was in chaos and I couldn't feel my heart. It felt like it had been reaped out of my chest.
     "You must be happy," I chuckled bitterly but she wore a confused expression.
     "She left me— Drink to that!"
She frowned, throwing the pillow on the bed and running her fingers through her hair in frustration.
     "It's what you wanted right?"
I sniffed and she glared at me for a second before her features softened.
     "I just want you to be truly happy."
She replied softly. How in the world does she think it makes sense to want me to be happy with someone that sent me to such a dark place in my life?
     "With someone that destroyed me? You'd rather watch the person that brought me soo much happiness leave so I can be happy with the person that destroyed me? Wow, you truly love me."
I was soo mad at that point.