XLI

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I'm afraid of you, he saidI'm afraid of me too, she replied

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I'm afraid of you, he said
I'm afraid of me too, she replied.
- Miriellamarie


A week passes in a blur and things have been great between Zayn and I. The sex has been more than before. We literally have each other for breakfast— lunch and dinner. I can tell he has been delegating at the office because he's less busy and spends a lot of time with me the least chance he gets. Cheryl has had lunch with us several times this gone week and I can surely say they get along really well— even at my expense sometimes.
     I've tried my best not to let any unwanted thoughts slip into my mind. I always remind myself that he fucks me and sleeps next to me, that would have to be enough for now.
     We visited mum at the hospital twice this week and I'm not so worried to let him near her anymore. Whatever the outcome is with Zayn, I'd be with him like there's nothing wrong with us. Our trip to Los Angeles for Nany's birthday is tonight so we had to make sure everything was set before we left.

Cheryl was asked to come with us but she declined, not wanting to third wheel even though we told her that wouldn't be the case.
     "Babe can you zip me up?"
I turn my back to face Zayn and he chuckles.
     "I love undressing you instead."
He said as he zipped my dress and I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. Good because he has made it his mission to choke me whenever I roll my eyes at him.
     "I bet you do."
I turned around and gave him a quick peck to the lips which he whined immediately I pulled away, causing me to chuckle.
     We still had about nine hours until our flight to LA so we were currently on our way to meet Cheryl for lunch.
     Zayn let me drive his Ferrari 488GTB in a heartbeat which made me all giddy. I couldn't stop smiling like a proud mother driving her baby to school, trust me, they are the proudest during those times. Heck I didn't even complain when he reached over and touched me intimately the entire ride because he was eventually going to get rewarded.
     We arrived and Cheryl was already waiting for us, typing away on her phone screen.
     "—Oh about fucking time."
She sat up and I chuckled, taking a seat next to her.
     "Since when do you wear dresses this much? I swear you've worn dresses several times this past week."
She sent me a discreet knowing wink which wasn't so discreet as Zayn cleared his throat uncomfortably and I chuckled. Let's say Zayn and I made a deal for me to always wear dresses so he can easily have his way with me without struggle and in return— he would make me pancakes every morning.

There was no way in hell I was going to say no even if nothing was in it for me but the pancakes were the icing on the cake.
     "I'm just saying, you look good in them though, you know what I mean?"
She pushed further with the teasing and I rolled my eyes.
     "—Yeah they are really comfortable."
I played dumb and she chuckled. I really want to push her off a cliff sometimes— she can be overbearing.
     "How long is said trip going to be?"
She returned to typing on her screen as Zayn beckoned over a waitress.
     "A week max," he answered before I could and I glanced through the menu for what to order.
     "Oh I'm going to miss my bitch."
She turned to me and I rolled my eyes. I told the waitress my order and so did Zayn because Cher had already ordered but I couldn't ignore the way Zayn was getting eye fucked. However, I didn't say a word about it but just hoped she'd leave us alone which she eventually did.
     "Well damn, these waitresses are something, she was practically eye fucking your man."
She leaned in over the table— pointing in the direction of the waitress.
     "—Don't fill her head up with bullshit Cher!"
Zayn said— his voice laced with amusement that I so badly wanted to slap away but I knew it'd only turn him on. Just the thought of it turning him on turned me on.
     "I'm not blind babe, I just don't care because you're mine."
I smiled tightly and he smirked, placing his hand on my bare knee under the table. He caressed my knee innocently as we conversed back and forth about nothing in particular.
     "You should really just give the guy a shot!"
I shrug in my poor attempt at giving Cheryl dating advice and she shot me the 'are you serious' look.
     "—Says the girl whose heart is made of steel."
She rolled her eyes with a light frown on her face. Dating has never been a problem for her which is why I think she really likes him but is scared.
     "My heart isn't made of steel. . ."
Zayn chuckled, looking back and forth between Cheryl and I.
     "Lets see, apart from him, who else has there been?"
She tilted her head towards Zayn to indicate what she meant as I just stared at her blankly. Zayn and I have never had a conversation about my previous love life which is why I sent daggers her way.

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