XLIV

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I smiled even though my heart sunk

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I smiled even though my heart sunk. He was completely expressionless as he stared at me.
     "She.. No one can ever be as good as the person you love."
I ran my fingers through his hair. Even though I wish things could've been different, I understand Doniya better now. Everytime she sees me, it reminds her of how much her brother could've been happier with the woman he truly loves.
In a way she just wants what is best for him as an elder sister.
     "Don't say that!"
He held my hands to stop my caresses and I chuckled. It wasn't a big deal and I didn't want him to feel like we needed to make it one. I was beginning to regret even bringing it up.
     "It's not that big of a deal Zayn.. She's entitled to feel however she wants and to like or dislike whoever she wants."
I forced a smile that he didn't return.
     "You know it's fine to not be okay Muna. It's totally okay to show your emotions."

Kimberly.

She has a beautiful name and I bet she is just as beautiful. As much as I want to understand that I can't blame her, I do.
A large part of me acknowledges the fact that she is the reason Zayn can never love me and it hurts like hell.
Cause unlike her, I'd give anything, anything to have him feel for me even an ounce of what he feels for her.
     "What happened?"
I asked softly, ignoring his statement. I could feel the sudden tension in the room from the sour look on his face.
He hates talking about her but whenever he does, you can see the hurt in his eyes.

He remained silent, gazing away from me and pulling his hands away. He buried his face into his palm, releasing a strangled sigh.
     "I—" We got interrupted by the ringing of my phone but not once did I budge. However, Zayn was relieved.
Finally, I gave in and stretched my lungs in order to reach my phone.

Nicholas. . .

Zayn watched me curiously and I sighed. I knew it was going to cause another fight between us and I was dreading every second of it.
     "Who's it?" He asked knowingly and I groaned, flinging my phone on the bed next to us. I didn't answer, we both knew that he knew who it was.
     "Zay—"
     "Unbelievable," He gently pushed me off him and I took my previous position next to him on the bed.
     "We've been through thi—"
     "Why the hell will he be calling you at such a time?"
     He was clearly hinting at something that was getting on my nerves.
     "I don't know Zayn, I'm not a fucking magician."
I yelled, infuriated at how stupid he was being.
     "Oh fuck off!" He threw his hands up in surrender and barged out to the bathroom...

I sighed...

Nicholas: I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow beautiful. Goodnight x

I didn't bother to reply. His text didn't put a smile on my face like it usually does. All it did was make me feel nervous about tomorrow. Nicholas, Zayn and I in the same room is bound for disaster and I definitely didn't need to be a magician to know that.

I want to understand where Zayn is coming from but I really can't.
     There is nothing tying me to him if I truly want to be with Nicholas and he ought to know that I love him because I've told him countless fucking times.
     I will never hurt him in anyway, shape or form and I just wish he could understand that.
     It's tiring really, just when things are perfect there's always something that messes it up. I laid on my side of the bed and turned my back to his. There was no point arguing for no solid reason.
     I could feel his presence re-enter the room and I just closed my eyes, praying he would just drop it and not start anything again.

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