His Weapon - Book 1 [Z.M]

XI

     "You know Zayn?"
He frowned, pulling away slightly and turning to face me. His expectant eyes watched me— waiting for an answer.
     I sighed, my palm became sweaty from his heated gaze.
     "We—"
I took a deep breath, Nicholas remained silent. There was something in his eyes as though praying it wasn't what he was thinking.
     I didn't know how to explain it to him. More so I wondered if Zayn wanted him to know but it's also mine to tell so I could tell whoever I wanted.
     What were we? I couldn't tell Nicholas exactly who I was to Zayn. He has a level of respect for me that I didn't want to be broken. How Nicholas sees me really matters to me.
     He remained patient, almost like he didn't want me revealing anything to him either.
     "—We dated."
I told a little white lie but it wasn't far from the truth either. Everyone knew me to be his woman so that was a reasonable explanation.
     He remained expressionless, avoiding my gaze. It's like time literally stood still as I waited for him to say something— anything.
     "Say something!" I begged.
     "So the whole night you've been lying and making a fool of me?"
He asked calmly causing my heart to break into a billion pieces.
     "No no don't say that."
I closed the space between us, bringing my hand to his knee.
     "Then why did you pretend not to know him?"
He finally looked at me, anger clear in his eyes.
     "I don't know... I'm sorry, I didn't know how to react considering it wasn't long ago."
I tried to come up with a tangible reason so he could at least understand me.
     "Fuck," He cursed— running his fingers through his hair.
     "Just how long ago was it?"
I looked around, knowing my answer would definitely make things worse.
I bit my lip.
     "A month and a—"
     "A fucking month ago."
He chuckled bitterly.
     "Explains why you needed a job," He muttered causing my head to snap in his direction.
     Just as I thought— his respect for me was gone.
     I couldn't defend myself and say I wasn't with Zayn for money. Heck I was even being paid to be with him.
     I frowned, offended by his conclusion which I felt was insinuating that I was chucking off Zayn's money.
     "That's not what I meant."
He said immediately he sensed my hurt due to how silent I became.
     "It doesn't matter, it's normal for you to think that way."
I barely spoke but I knew he could hear me.
     "No it's no—"
He turned to face me, attempting to come clean with what he meant but I didn't want to talk about it.
     "Can you please take me home?"
I cut him off. He remained silent, holding my gaze. I couldn't take it anymore— everything the night had to offer. Just when I had deceived myself into thinking that everything was going to be fine and that I wouldn't need Zayn, this happened.
     "Sure," Finally he said, standing to his feet and stretching his hand out for mine which I planted in his.

We walked in silence. His chauffeur was standing next to the car— waiting to open it for us. As soon as we got closer he did and I slid in followed by Nicholas.
     The ride was really silent. My body was pressed against the door where I was seated as I stared out into the dark. My mind wandered far— filled with regret of letting Zayn lay his hands on me but also filled with satisfaction that I got to see him and feel his hands all over my body.
     I was beyond confuse but I wasn't going to dwell on it— nothing that happened tonight can ever happen again.
     I wasn't mad at Nicholas even though I knew he thought I was. If anything, he should be mad at me— I lied to him the entire night and not to talk about what happened between Zayn and I out on the balcony.
     Nicholas didn't deserve such disrespect and mockery.
      The ride felt like a trip to Cambodia, it was never coming to an end but after what felt like fucking eternity, I begun to see familiar surroundings.
     The limousine parked before my washed down apartment. It amazes me how two different worlds could be just in walking distance from each other— how we are so far apart from each other but yet so damn close.
     I turned to see Nicholas staring at me and I forced a smile, one which he didn't return but he didn't look angry either. His beautiful eyes were filled with so much worry that had me wanting to comfort him but I mentally talked myself out of it.