LII

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She never holdsHands justWith anyone

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She never holds
Hands just
With anyone

So believe her
When she does.
- Rish

Zayn - I don't want to live forever (Acoustic )

ZAYN'S POV
I screwed my eyes shut at the feel of her wet tongue on my skin— it felt soo fucking good. That was until I felt her touch and my eyes snapped open, capturing her small hands in mine and caging them behind her back. I hate when she touches me. It reminds me that she isn't her. I'm soo fucking messed up sometimes I worry for my mental health. I hold on to the thought of people more than I hold on to the actual person.
     I didn't allow her to react as I smashed my lips against hers— visibly angry but I could tell she loved it. I was always soo fucking soft for her, treated her like she was made of glass but she never appreciated me for that. She wanted to be owned and dominated.
     She moaned into my mouth and I flipped us over so I was on top of her body. Her legs instantly trapped me— pulling me closer as she began to grind her hips up against me. I held her hands above her head to prevent her from even thinking it was okay to be brave enough to try it.
     We were both naked after she had sucked me off minutes ago. She brought her hands between us as she held my gaze. She positioned my dick at her entrance and I slammed into her forcefully. Her jaw dropped— trying to free her hands but my hold tightened.
     I fucked her like I was sex starved, watching her cry out my name and I fucking hated myself because all I could picture was her, Muna.

I was rough, too rough whenever I would remember she isn't Muna but she liked it. She clawed her nails into my skin— clenching around my dick but it felt different. It didn't drive me fucking crazy like being inside Muna would. I didn't know just how good it could feel being buried deep inside a woman until I met her.
     I put my full weight on her, still caging her hands as I brought her closer to her release. She began to convulse— shaking as she came. My thrusts became sloppy but still very hard.
     I shot my seed inside her and attacked her lips. Everything with Kimberly is soo fucking different now.
     She doesn't drive me insane like she used to. Our breaths were out of control as she brought her hands up and caressed my face.
     I let her but I felt nothing. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and I visibly tensed up, that was our thing— Muna and I. I loved planting my face between her breasts and eventually devouring them like a child would and she loved something about my neck, she would always bury her face in it and blatantly inhale my scent.

Fuck, I miss her. . .
     I succeeded in escaping to the bathroom and took a shower. Everything in this house reminds me of her now. Waliyha and I aren't on the best of terms since she left. She told me how stupid I am for not being able to make my own decisions and letting Don control me.
     When I got out, Kimberly was nowhere to be seen and I groaned. I love the girl— really, I do but now I know for a fact that it's not in the way that I was convinced I loved her. She'd forever be special to me and I'd always love her but I just don't feel a thing anymore. I'm not happy and with every passing day my anger grows towards Muna.
     Who gave her the fucking right to tell me what to do?
     I pulled out my laptop to complete some paperwork and hell I was tempted to watch our videos. There hasn't been a day that I haven't watched them. I wish I had more. I fucking torture myself every single day.
     I clicked on a random one and her beautiful face appeared on the screen. The way she looked at me— everything about her is perfect. I wasn't listening to our dialogue until her moans filled my ears.
     Fuck.
I was getting soo fucking aroused just looking at her— dying to lay my hands on her. She kept moaning my name and shit it was doing things to me.

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