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Maybe it doesn't have to do with him at all. Maybe it's because I want to make myself truly believe that I can change. I think I'm right, I don't think it's about pleasing him and showing him I could change, it's about me.

I have my whole life ahead of me, I haven't even lived half of it and I already know that people make mistakes and it'll never stop. They'll probably be worse, they'll probably even repeat themselves but they will happen again and again and again.

Every step I took made my heart beat faster and my palms sweat even more. I don't understand why my body is reacting this way and why I can't simply get this over with. Maybe this is my punishment, the anticipation.

I took a seat next to the familiar boy and looked over at him. He was deep in his thoughts as he continued to sketch a beautiful bird that sat on a tree branch a few feet away.

When he finally noticed my presence he let out a groan and began to pack his stuff, "Wait." I said gently, "give me a minute, that's all I need." I said as I put my hand on his arm but quickly removed it.

"What do you want?" He asked with disgust dripping from his tongue.

"I spend hours looking for this." I said as I pulled his Kippah out of my backpack and handed it back to him, "its a bit dirty but I think it's washable..." I said quietly, "I'm sorry okay? And lately I've been saying that a lot and I don't know how many more times I'll have to say it but if you want me to say it a thousand times more I'll say it. Before you say anything else, no. I'm not doing this for Richie, I'm doing this for my self and for you. I'm sorry for making you suffer and for humiliating you for years, I really am sorry." I said as I took in a deep breath.

He looked down at the round cap that rested on his hands, "Thank you." He mumbled.

I hid the shock that went across my face by looking away, "you're welcome."

"This still doesn't settle the score." He said quickly, "but I forgive you Cole." He said quietly.

"Thank you so much." I smiled slightly. I looked down at his sketch, "Nice Swallow." I said as I admired the drawing.

"You're into birds too?" He asked a bit shocked.

"Not really but my mom is... Well was. She loved birds and she always talked about them." I said.

"You're probably not as bad as I thought you were." He said.

I smiled as I looked up at him.

Maybe I'm getting somewhere with him.

-

❤️Happy Monday!❤️
I'm really excited about something that you guys will find out about soon.
Q: Favorite thing about Cole?

Losers' Club //Richie Tozier//Where stories live. Discover now