Losers' Club //Richie Tozier//

🎈80.🎈

WOW, 80TH CHAPTER! LETS GET IT! ❤️

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I don't know why I'm still shivering. Maybe it's the adrenaline or maybe it's he fact that I feel really cold.

I'm really cold now that I think about it. However, it's not from the outside... instead, it's somewhere deep inside of me.

"A-are you okay?" Bill asked quietly as we both sat on his bed for a very long time without saying a word.

I swallowed them lump in my throat as I shrugged my shoulders, "I would say yes but it's not that easy..." I muttered as I gripped the blanket that he had wrapped around me on this hot summer day.

I looked down at the clothes I have taken from Bill for a second time and a wave of guilt washed over me. I looked over at him before frowning.

"W-what's wrong?" He asked quietly.

I cleared my throat, "I shouldn't be here." I said as I let the blanket slide off my back, "I-I don't know what I'm doing here." I said as I looked around.

"Cole I-it's Okay." He said as he put his hands on my shoulders, "Stop f-freaking out..." He said as he made me state into his frightened beautiful eyes.

I furrowed my eyesbrows as I let out a shaky sigh. I felt my bottom lip quiver before I broke down in tears. I let my face fall and I quickly covered it with my clamy hands.

"I-I-I..." I became a stuttering mess, "It h-hurts..." I cried.

He embraced me in a tight hug and I cried harder. I know crying is suppose to feel good and bring a sense of relief but it didn't feel that way, it made me feel guilty.

I didn't back away though I wrapped my arms around Bill and cried into his chest.

"Is this a-about Je-Jess?" He asked.

"It's about everything." I said honestly as I wiped away my tears, "Richie, Jess, this entire fucked up situation."

"C-can I t-tell you a s-secret?" He asked as he rubbed my back. I wasn't in the mood to keep secrets but I slowly nodded my head, "I-I think you're one of t-the strongest girls I have ever met." He whispered.

I couldn't help but cry harder at his kind words, "Bill... can't you see? I'm falling apart, I'm not strong, I'm just... tired." I said as my voice cracked again.

"Y-you're wrong... y-you make a living h-hell look like it's a walk in the park." He said as he rested his hand on my back.

"Bill... I feel so exhausted. I-I feel like I can't do anything anymore... I'm crying out the tears that I've been holding in since Jess dissapeared and I can't hold back and Richie is usually the one to comfort me but he's not here... not anymore." I cried.

"R-Richie doesn't know what he's s-saying." He said.

"You know... I never told anyone about Jess. Not Beverly and not even Richie. I can't talk about it because everytime I do I feel like a piece of me dies every memory I bring back. I feel like I'm choking with the lump that grows bigger and bigger every breath I take." I said as I gasped, "but I love her so much and I might sound stupid but I feel deep down that she's still alive. I feel it."