bittersweet [yoonmin]

29.

"Jimin!"

I roll my eyes when I hear Jennie's voice behind me. As soon as I turn around I show her a fake smile.

The last thing I need is an angry Jennie coming at me. I'm not good with girl drama and I don't really need any more problems. Yoonji is enough problems.

"What's up Jennie?"

"Hey do you want to sit with me today? I have an empty spot. I looked at some prom dresses online and I found some. We can take a look at them."

She points to an empty seat on her lunch table. "Uh, actually I'll sit with my friends. We can take a look at the dresses later. Plus, I don't want to bother your friends and you." I say looking over at the table with giggly girls.

Jennie makes a face but smiles. "Bummer. Okay we will talk about the dresses later. See you baby." She says blowing me a kiss.

I quickly walk over to my table and sit beside Hoseok. I don't think I'll ever get use to the pet names and the lovey attitude.

"What did she want?" He asks.

"She wanted me to join her table." I reply with an annoyed expression. "Like I would ever do that."

"She must assume you two are a thing now." Jungkook says glancing over at Jennie's table.

"Jungguk don't look! She's going to know we're talking about her."

"Oops." He mumbles stuffing a sandwich down his mouth.

"Wait I want some." Taheyung pouts reaching over to grab a piece of Jungkook's sandwich.

"Here." Jungkook replies with a small laugh. He feeds Taehyung in the mouth and Taheyung responds by smiling.

I look at them both interacting and how they act like a couple. How do they look so good together?

There's not an awkwardness between them at all. They look so natural and so effortlessly beautiful together.

But imagining myself with someone like Yoonji doesn't seem beautiful in my mind. It feels wrong in every aspect.

•••

"So what do you think of this?" Jennie asks scrolling to the next prom picture. I've literally looked at twenty prom dresses and they all look the same.

"It's good too."

"Jimin! You've said that about the others! I need your honest option. I stayed up almost the whole night yesterday looking for options. I need to order one ASAP."

"Well I don't know about dresses, Jennie."

She pouts angrily, "I'm serious, Jimin. Please give me an honest opinion. Look time is running out and we have to get back to practice so focus on this."

I sigh wishing my break was over. I'd much rather be running in the track field than having to hear her talk about prom dresses like it's the most important thing in the world.

First of all, I don't even want to go to prom. If I asked her out was to hurt Yoonji's feelings and that's it.

Thinking about it makes me feel like a shitty person. One, because I'm using Jennie and she actually likes me. Two, because even though I want to hate Yoonji I simply can't and hurting her feelings makes me feel worse.

"So tell me what do you think about this?" She asks waiting for me to answer. I look at the dress on the screen and shrug.

"Do you really want me to be honest?"

"Yes."

"I don't like none of the dresses you've showed me so far."

Jennie's mouth forms an 'o' and she looks really offended. "None at all? They're so cute and they're yellow like you want it to be."

"Yes they're yellow but in all honesty I hate them all."

"Then what dress do you want me to wear?" She asks a bit annoyed.

I grab her phone and search for a prom dress. When my eyes land on a flower off the shoulder dress I click on it.

It's a two piece dress. The top is off the shoulder and has 3D white flowers with green. The bottom half is a plain pale yellow.

Yoonji would love the dress.

This dress screams Yoonji in every aspect. Why am I trying to make Jennie wear something Yoonji would wear?

"I like this one."

Jennie grimaces at the dress. "This one? Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I like that one. Or you can pick whichever one you want."

My track coach blows his whistle indicating our break is over. I get up from the bleachers where I was sitting and Jennie quickly gets up behind me.

"Okay I'll order this one then. It's not my cup of tea, but I'll make it work. I can rock any dress. Start looking for your tux babe! I'll see you after practice. Do you wanna hang out?"

"Oh, uh, I can't. I have to finish a project with Hoseok. I'm going to be extremely busy these next up coming weeks. I have to finish this big project and I have to practice more for track competition. It's a lot."

Jennie pouts once again. "That sucks. Well at least I'll see you at school and we can always talk on the phone." She smiles.

"Yeah." I mumble forcing a grin.

"Well I'll let you get going." She pecks me on the lips and runs down the bleachers to her cheer practice.

I wipe my lips and start coming down the bleachers. Being kissed by her feels so odd. Talking to her feels so odd.

Pretending to like her feels so odd.

Nothing feels the same anymore and I don't know how to feel right again.