bittersweet [yoonmin]

30.

"I'll wait for you outside. Is that cool? Or do you want me to wait for you to change?"

"No you go ahead. I'll meet you at the pool." I tell Taehyung. He nods his head and walks out the locker room door.

I never thought I would dread pool day so much until this day. We haven't been swimming lately and of course the coaches had to start taking us to swim again.

It's going to be the first time I'm going to see Yoonji in a bathing suit knowing everything. The thought of it gives me shivers.

She looks like a woman. Her curves, her face, her lips everything about her screams woman to me. I can't even refer to her as a he.

Now that I know the truth all I can focus on is finding things that are wrong with her. I want to find every detail that I so blindly missed while being with her.

After changing into my swimming trunks and grabbing my towel I head out of the locker room.

As I'm walking down the hallway I hear Yoonji's voice. I keep walking but slower this time so she can't hear me as I approach her.

"I just really don't feel good." She says quietly.

"But what's wrong with you?" Her coach asks.

As I'm getting closer I can see her coach standing in front of her. Yoonji is wearing a long oversized T-shirt and sandals.

She has her pink towel on her hand and she's looking down at the floor. "I just— I — I have really bad cramps and I don't want to swim."

"Do you have a tampon? You knew we had swimming class today you should've brought one."

"No I have one. I just . . . can I just please not swim. Please?"

"I'm sorry, Yoonji you have to do it. I'm sure there's some girls in your class that are on their periods too. I can't exempt you from swimming or else I would have to exempt every girl that's on their menstrual cycle. Do you understand?"

Yoonji nods her head and her coach pats her shoulder. "Come on let's get going class is about to start."

The coach opens the door for her and she walks slowly with her head down. I stand in the middle of the hallway amused.

Period?

She can't possibly be on her period. Hell, she doesn't even have periods. "Are you coming, Park?" The coach asks still holding the door open.

I quickly nod my head and jog to the door. The coach walks ahead of me and I keep my eyes focused on, Yoonji who is still walking dreadfully slow.

She takes a right where all the girls are gathered and I take a left where my class is. "Finally, where the hell have you been? Were you making out with, Yoonji? I saw that she just got here." Taheyung says wiggling his eyebrows.

"You're funny, Taehyung. Of course I wasn't making out with her. I told you we're done."

"Okay, okay, chill. I was just messing."

"I was just messing." I mock rolling my eyes.

"Okay guys we're playing a game in the pool so start getting in. I'll give you a few minutes to warm up." Our coach screams.

I glance over at Yoonji's side where her coach is giving them instructions. The girls start getting in the pool leaving Yoonji behind.

She timidly reaches to pull her shirt up. I hold my breath as she slowly removes the shirt. Her skin looks so soft from here and those milky white thighs make my mouth water at the site.

Snap the fuck out of it, Jimin.

She's a man!

Yoonji catches me looking and she puts her arms over her body quickly getting in the pool. I gulp and turn my attention to Taheyung to stop thinking about her body.

"Are you sure you're done with her? I just saw you drool over her." He snickers.

"Taehyung." I say.

"Yes?"

"Do you see anything odd in, Yoonji?"

"Odd as in what?"

"Like I don't know. Does she look different? Do you see anything unusual about her? Does she look like other girls?"

Taheyung then glances over at Yoonji who is standing in the corner of the pool away from everyone else.

Yoonji sees us looking over at her and she turns her head sinking her body further down in the water.

"No. She looks normal to me. I mean she doesn't look like the other girls, but she's cute."

"Oh okay."

•••

"Alright guys one more round!" The coach screams.

"I love this game." Taheyung says with a grin.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well if you look over at the girls pool they're playing the same thing. Every time they jump up to hit the ball all I see see tities." He smirks.

"Also, I get to be in this pool with hot shirtless guys. It's a win-win for me."

"How do you know you're bisexual?"

"I just know. Why do you ask? You've never asked me that."

"Just wondering. How do you know you like guys?"

"Well I got my first boy crush in fifth grade. A really cute guy in class gave me a boner." He giggles.

"Did you feel bad? Ashamed?"

"Yeah. At first I did. I felt really scared because I had liked girls until that point. With time I learned to understand myself and my emotions. I learned that not everyone is okay with the way I am, but the most important people in my life accept me. That's what matters."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah."

I'm now focusing on the girls pool and the ball happens to land in front of, Yoonji. Someone screams at her to throw it and she picks up the ball in her hands.

When she throws it in the air I watch attentively my eyes immediately going to her chest.

The way her body moves on the water makes me speechless. I feel my shorts tighten around my crotch and my face immediately blushes.

Why am I getting a boner looking at her?

"Coach! Can I use the bathroom real quick?" I scream out loud.

"Hurry up, Park."

I rush out of the pool covering my crotch so no one sees my issue. I run as fast as I can to the bathroom inside.

When I make it to the bathroom I lock the stall breathing heavily. I'm so angry at my body for betraying me this way. I shut my eyes tightly and try to control my breathing.

Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.

I repeat in my head over and over. When I open my eyes and see that my boner hasn't left I start cursing in my head.

The image of Yoonji won't leave my mind and it's making me squirmy inside.

"Jimin? You good?" Taehyung asks knocking on the bathroom door minutes later.

"I'm— I'm good. I'll be right out."

"We're done swimming. Just go to the locker room to change."

"Okay." I reply relieved that we don't have to go back to that damn pool.

"Okay then."

I bang my head against the stall angry at myself. I have to stop liking, Yoonji. I have to stop.

I have to get rid of my feelings towards her in order to move on with my life or else I won't ever be the same anymore.