For anyone who needs a giant pick me up in their darkest times....
Don't read if you are light hearted, or easily triggered...
I may or may not have wrote this to help myself...I really was having an awful time and was going to vent... But instead ...this happened!
If it helps you, I'm super glad.
Oh no.
I'm second guessing myself again.
I'm going into a mentle spiral that is invisible to the naked eye.
It's not anxiety.
It's depression.
It's purly gender Dysphoria.
I'm scared man.
I don't wanna put myself out there.
I don't want to be attacked.
I am not even sure if I should pe such a career---
With who I am and how I act.
Hm......
I know I just need to surround myself with wonderful people.
I'm aware it will get better.
I know this is all.... Temporary.
Yet here I am.
Freaking the fuck out.
I know. I said it would be a pick me up; AND IT WILL BE... But all im doing is making you worry about me.
Which is fine. People worry about people. You shouldn't hide things just because others may worry. If you do, this doesn't mean your in the wrong, but it will end up hurting you. If they worry, it means they care....
Even the strongest people cry. Even the smartest people fail. The fastest people trip and the brightest people can fall into the shadows. Even the most obedient disappoint others.....
That's what we do.
We do these things wrong..
Is a cycle
Feeling bad is normal, and really, it's good for you. It's good to FEEL. If you feel nothing, that's not a good sign. Believe me, I've been there aswell....
People tell me I don't know what they're going through.
They tell me that because I can be happy, social, energetic and bouncy I don't know what it's like to want to harm myself.
They tell me that because I'm outgoing and spontaneous and self confident I don't know what it's like to consider suicide or hate myself.
They tell me that because I'm not scared of alot, and that because I can stand infront of a crowd I don't understand they're urges and deep DEAMONS....
I was once,
Just like you...
I hated myself.
I hated everything.
I wanted to die.
I was numb.
I couldn't feel anything but negative.
I didn't understand.
I hated school.
I hated LIFE.
There were only a few things that made me happy and it felt like even they were fleaing...
But here I am...
Alive
I LOVE LIFE
I love school
I found who I am, in many different ways,
I feel so many different things, plus the negativity...
I have goals, dreams, wishes,
And finally learning.
Well
..
Some people say, "well, that's just because you're stonger than me-" NOOO
Not AT ALL.
I thought that too, even.
I thought all of these amazing people were something I would never be; great.
The truth is, I'm not stronger than anyone...
You just underestimate yourself.
You're stronger than you think.
You're better than you feel.
You're not a bad person.
If you are, then so am I.
I didn't start out with my awesomness
I didn't just AWAKEN with my knowledge, wisdom and pure fabulous nature.
Depression is...
Difficult and stubborn ..
Anxiety is....
Sly and fear influenced..
You???
Only you can say what you are.
Don't make it negative.
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420Sanders Sides Oneshots
फैनफिक्शनships, aus, plots, and so much more. Please enjoy what I have to offer. requests are open. check out my other stories they're better than this lmao. Some of these oneshots are literally just crack and others I actually work hard on. Patton, Logan...
