angel. h.s ✔️

five.

The concept of sleeping with your eyes open wasn't exactly a familiar one to me but I was pretty sure I was currently doing it. The café had been empty nearly all day with only a few people in the morning getting their drinks on their commutes and it was hardly a rush at lunch but for once, I wasn't complaining.

I was running on barely any sleep with an ache in my bones and my chest that I knew were from the same source but at least I had paracetamol for the bruising on my skin. I didn't know how to fix my heart. 

I could only hope Tommy still loved me.

I shook away the thought and tried to focus on the fact I was happy to hang around here today without having to put on any kind of act for the hoards of customers we usually got. Well, that and the fact that it hurt to walk.

For a while this morning whilst I was creeping about the house in an attempt to keep Mum oblivious to my pain I was convinced Tommy had broken something last night but I was pretty sure it was just the bruising.

The bruising that I had spent twenty five minutes staring at in the mirror when I got out of bed, my jaw was an ugly shade of purple for the first time in a while, but the mottled bruise around my cheek was renewed and I didn't even know if the first one had healed before this one bloomed.

I had laughed bitterly at the thought this morning, it was hardly the first time. I knew that last weeks bruise wasn't the first time either and it was now getting difficult to count the amount of times Tommy had left blue prints of his love on my body.

Finally closing my eyes, I sucked in a breath and tried not to hiss in pain as my ribs ached and I tried to forget what my torso looked like this morning. That had been a first admittedly, the red and purple bruise had wrapped itself around the entire left half of my rib cage.

That bruise had been a first and so had the fact it hurt too much to put a bra on and I had spent twenty minutes stress crying about what to do in regards to the fact it was early November and I wasn't about to show the world my nipples.

I could feel my face heat as I remembered my panic from this morning, no wonder I always made Tommy mad, I was stupid. Stupid enough for it to take twenty minutes for me to remember sports bras existed and that was what was currently sat, still painfully, on my ribcage.

I knew I bruised easily so in all fairness Tommy hadn't really hit me all that hard and I was thankful for that. Hopefully that meant he did love me underneath it all.

"May?"

I jumped as I heard my name being called and I opened my eyes, trying to focus in the figures standing behind the till and I felt my nerves spike as I realised it was Tommy's friends. A quick check of the group settled my nerves somewhat as I realised he wasn't with them.

I tried my best to send them a polite smile as I pushed off the counter and bit down on my lip to conceal the pain in my body as I moved so harshly that the searing pain shot through my mouth as I tasted blood immediately.

"Sorry, what can I get you guys?" I asked tapping the screen watching as it transitioned from black to blue and I didn't miss the irony of my skin doing the same but in reverse.

"You alright buddy?" Niall asked and I nodded immediately. "Was calling your name a couple of times." Niall laughed and I felt my face heat in embarrassment.

"Sorry," I apologised again, "I'm just really tired." I tried to fake a laugh and was relived as both Niall and Louis laughed along with me and without putting too much thought into it I found myself relaxing in their presence.