angel. h.s ✔️

fifty one.

The joy that comes and goes in my life as quickly as the river ebbs and flows had left me again. The soft happiness that Harry's company had brought me most of the weekend was gone again, even during the hardship on Saturday night he brought the comfort.

But now my eyes bore into the harsh red letters painted across the front window of the café, my heart was gripped by fear and sadness. Another problem I now had to deal with.

At least this problem was only half a problem now I'd managed to wash away the first three letters from the window. Even better that this problem had as far as I knew only been seen by a handful of people.

The first being me and the second being Kate.

Her confusion as just as strong as mine but I suspected hers wasn't weighed down with guilt. A part of me told me it was stupid but I couldn't help but feel it, with Saturday evenings actions I basically was what the window said.

Whore.

But I didn't know who knew what I had done bar Harry and I, obviously. But now it was clear someone knew, but even if they didn't. They clearly knew me well enough to know what would upset me. And fill me with dread.

"Done. Let's not tell anyone else about this."

I announced to Kate once I'd returned inside, the used water in my bucket now a fear producing shade of red and the window sparkling clean.

At least that was the first of my problems sorted out, although I knew it wasn't sorted completely; seeing as I had endless worries and questions but that was all I could do for now.

+

The second problem on my list was Mum.

More so, our schedules never matching up which usually wasn't a problem but now it was working against us, against me.

I wanted to talk to her about Paul while it was all still fresh in my mind, and even though Harry threatened to make it all disappear simply with his presence; I knew I needed to talk to her.

Just like my first problem this morning I was being proactive and tackling this one head on, by going to the hospital.

I kept to myself as I headed inside the building, the hustle and bustle of Hammersmith hospital making itself known to me.

I smiled at the security guard and receptionist on the main front desk receiving a smile from the former and a smile and wave from the latter.

"Hi." I called out the moment the lift doors opened and I spotted Mum sitting behind the nurses station, her head lifting at the greeting.

"Hi darling, what are you doing here?" She asked as I lent against the side and shrugged lightly.

"Haven't seen you for a while." I smiled slightly, "What time do you finish?"

"Eleven. No Harry?" Mum asked and I snorted lightly.

Great to know she thought I was incapable of being by myself.

"Why would there be?" I muttered, "I'll hang around. We can go home together."

"Are you sure? It's a good few hours yet."

I simply nodded at her words just as my phone buzzed in my pocket and Mum gestured for me to join her on the other side and I took an empty seat.

Speak of the devil.

I chewed my lip as several text messages from Harry came through at once.

Harry 5:02pm: On your way home Sunshine? X.
Harry 5:10pm: Where are you? X.
Harry 5:30pm: Sunshine where are you, you're not at home and you're not at work.

I frowned as I read his messages over, why was he so frantic?

Sorry, I'm at the hosp

I jumped as hand grabbed my shoulder and I spun the chair to face my attacker, only to come face to face with Claire and her grin.

"Hello trouble." Claire grinned and I gave her an easy smile back. "Staying out of trouble I hope?"

I nodded, "You know me."

Claire only hummed and gave me a sly smile before her eyes drifted down to my phone and I bit my lip.

"You know the rules May,"

"No phones on the ward." I spoke the same words as Claire and Mum and nodded before apologising.

Sorry, I'm at the hospital :-) x

I pocketed my easily and occupied myself with listening to Mum and Claire chat about anything and everything.

Only to be interrupted my phone ringing somewhat loudly.

I cringed as both Claire and Mum gave me a look and I apologised as I grabbed the spare keycard from the drawer and headed out onto the roof with my ringing phone.

"Harry?" I asked instead of greeting him, he hadn't answered my text but he was able to ring me?

"Are you okay? What hospital?" Harry practically grunted down the line at me and I paled. Of course he'd jump to conclusions.

"What? I'm fine. I'm just visiting Mum." I told him honestly as I looked out at the London skyline.

"Hammersmith? M'on my way." Harry inquired and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes but what-" I paused, "Why? I'm fine. Honestly."

"Heard yeh', just wanna see you don't I Sunshine."

Harry's words brought heat to my face as I bit my lip to stop the stupid smile from splitting across my face. I looked to the sky briefly before a car horn on the phone brought me back to Earth.

"Thirteenth floor. Nurses station right opposite the lift." I informed Harry who hummed and I shut my eyes to savour the sound.

"Parking now, I'll see you soon love."