angel. h.s ✔️

fifty three

The pool of brown liquid stared back at me and for once I was glad I couldn't see my reflection in it. For the first time since Harry had become a permanent feature in my life, I had cried myself to sleep last night.

Cried myself to sleep last night, cried in the shower twenty minutes ago and now I was trying not to cry as my apology text message to Harry was left unanswered. There wasn't even any indication that he'd read it, so I didn't even know if he was ignoring me or not.

Having today off work couldn't have been more poorly timed. At least if I'd been at work I wouldn't have had the chance to think about Harry or our fight.

And not definitely not had a chance to compare how I was with Harry to how I was with Tommy. Everything Tommy had said about me was right.

I was petty and argumentative and I started every single fight we'd ever had and it made sense why he was always angry at me.

I guess it was just a matter of time before Harry saw that too.

I jumped as the doorbell rang and I frowned, I wasn't expecting anyone and considering Mum had already left I doubted she was either.

I couldn't stop my heart from filling with hope as I slowly made my way to the ringing object, maybe it was Harry.

Hopefully it was Harry.

I prepared my apology as I unlocked the door and pulled it open, ready to drop to my knees and beg him not to be mad at me.

I felt the hope leave my body as my heart sank and I cursed myself for getting my own hopes up as I came face to face with quite possibly the man I didn't want to see most.

"Hi." I greeted him briskly watching as Paul frowned momentarily before giving me a sheepish smile.

"Oh good you are here. I didn't know if you were working today. Can I come in?"

"I don't think that's good idea." I admitted shifting on my feet slightly. "Mum's here."

"Oh right of course."

"Did you want something?" I didn't mean to snap. I really didn't need this.

"I thought," Paul started before stopping and I bit my lip to stop myself from frowning. "I wanted to know if you'd like to get some lunch? Maybe finish our chat."

Finish our chat in a public place, so I couldn't make a scene. Smart.

I let my eyes move around the street behind Paul as I considered his offer, did I really want to go and eat? Not really.

Did I really want to sit and have a chat about my half sister being eleven years younger than me? Not really.

Did I have anything better to do today except wallow in my sadness? Nope.

"Let me get my stuff."

"I'll be in the car." Paul nodded making me half smile as I shut the door gently.

I thanked god that for once I'd actually gotten dressed after I'd showered this morning as I pulled my boots on and made my way backdown stairs. I cursed as I realised I left my jacket upstairs.

The coat rack caught my eye as I turned to head back up and I bit my lip as I realised Harry had left the coat he'd so adamantly wanted me to have here. Even just lifting the sleeve I got a waft of his cologne and it was like the butterflies in my stomach came back to life.

"Good to go?" Paul asked and I nodded as I shut the door and settled into the front seat of his Mercedes.

"So how are you? How's work?" Paul broke the silence as we stopped at a red light and I forced myself not to shrug at his questions.

I was sitting next to the man that made up half of my DNA and yet, he was a total stranger.

"I'm good, works good." I answered and I saw Paul frown from the corner of my eye. Guess thats where I got it from.

"You work at the Tea Tree, a café yes?" He asked and I hummed. "Lisa mentioned you were the manager, thats great. How long for?"

Lisa only knows because Harry told her.

"I've worked there since I was thirteen, but I've only been a manager for a couple of months. Where are we going?"

"I know this great little restaurant called Rules. Did you work there all through school and college then? What about university?" Paul asked and I bit my lip just as he roughly pulled into a parking space on the side of the road and I wondered if he'd taught Harry how to drive.

"Yes." I said once we were both out of the car and across the street. "I'm not going to university."

I smiled at the hostess who greeted Paul with a large smile and I realised he must frequent this place a lot, it was certainly little as he'd put it. It looked Edwardian and I wondered if it really was as old as it seemed.

"Why not? What did you study at college?" Paul asked once we were seated in a booth towards the back with a menu each and I fought my urge to eye roll.

"We don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

I pursed my lips as I looked over the menu, almost everything was meat and I paled; what would have the least calories?

"Talk about everything you missed. Attempt to catch up on lost time." I stated once I'd spotted the caesar salad and decided on that.

"I want to know." Paul defended himself with a frown and I looked around the building instead as a waitress approached.

"Hi Paul great to see you again! Are you ready to order some drinks?" She asked cheerily and I bit my lip at her over friendly greeting.

"Rebecca, I'm good with my usual americano thanks. How about you May?"

"Just a peppermint tea thanks." I smiled politely at Rebecca. It wasn't like me to judge but she seemed a little too friendly.

"Are you having your usual pie?" She asked Paul once we'd jotted down my tea and I watched silently as he nodded before she turned to me.

"Caesar salad please."

Rebecca smiled at the two of us before she disappeared off leaving us in an awkward silence and I fisted my hand into the soft interior of Harry's jacket on the seat next to me in an attempt to calm myself.

Had he read my text yet? Or was he still mad?

"I understand that you want to know or think you want to know but you don't. You just want to appear like you do because it seems like the right thing to do in this situation, if you'd really wanted to know you would have made an effort to be involved in my life."

"May," Paul sighed, "You know it's not that simple, I wanted to be involved with your life-"

"I thought we were here to finish our chat." I cut him off as Rebecca reappeared and I thanked her quietly for my tea. It had come in a teapot and I smiled at the fact.

"I don't want to talk about me. I want to know why Olivia is eleven years younger than me."

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so I have zero interest in writing and in this story right now so im gifting you all these already written chapters bc im lazy and i have no motivation to do anything new :-) x