You Feel Like a Dream (18+)

One by One

  It was early enough that the sun was rising into dawn. The sky was a hue of pink and violet. I stood there looking out the terrace doors in my boudoir, that was slightly opened, crisp winter breeze swaying the dark velvet drapes ever so. I watched him sleep as I took slow drags from my cigarette. Seeing how peaceful he looked, how I wanted to remember this moment, this feeling for all of my time left on this place.

As I opened the bedroom door to the hallway, I could hear Loren playing his cello. What a gift he has; he is my very own personal one-piece orchestra. He's a prodigy, started playing at the age of 3. I feel so blessed for him for another world that was opened up to me. I am forever grateful. He has grown so much since we became lovers, over a late-night cup of espresso at a cafe in Lake Cumo. We hit it off instantly. As Martone had become accustomed to me bringing home
" puppies." Though Martone and Loren became close as two open-minded heterosexual men could be. The sounds he made with his cello appendage to me at that moment were emotionally melancholy, hauntingly filled with depth and despair.

Martone, who is a hobby chef, was in his usual place in the kitchen. He was sitting in the nook against the floor to ceiling window looking out over the park. Smoking a cigarette and on his 2 cup of coffee, reading The Sunday New York Times. Yes, a real paper is still delivered to our doorstep. " I know, my darling." He said, flicking his ash into the ceramic ashtray. " I had the delightful privilege of hearing sounds of your lovemaking. I took MaryJane up to the rooftop, and Loren was sipping out of a vintage red bottle. He didn't even bother with a glass, so we talked and drank most of the night. Knowing what was going to happen next. I only want you to be happy. Whomever that is with, for certain, you have never sounded that way with either of us." I was a bit stunned, and in a stupor of what to say, he took me by surprise. I didn't intentionally put on a show for them. I had no idea that I was even loud enough for anyone but Tom and me to hear. I smiled nervously as he stood up to get me a cup of coffee. I lit one of his smokes. Holding the cigarette with an unsteady hand, bringing it up to my lips, inhaling and blowing it towards his face, as he placed the coffee cup in front of me. Sitting back down, staring intently at me smoking. " So what do we do, Harlow, how do we handle this. I can go back home, Loren is going to take this differently perhaps."
"My darling no no, we have five floors, we can live in separate corners it isn't this life-changing," I say to him warmly.
" No, Harlow, it is life-changing, we can't all be here. Tom would never be comfortable with that; I understand that. He isn't one to share with you. That was evident when he walked in the door. The power struggle began silently between us. It will be life-changing for you; I just hope you are up for being with a " movie star." He gracefully explained. I am quite certain you can handle anything. The question you need to ask yourself is, will he be able to handle you?"

  Loren still feverishly gliding his cello as background music. " He's thinking; he's working this out in his emotions and his head," Martone explains. " Nothing has to happen at this moment; he has to film now over the holidays. We can work it out in the New Year." I lovingly say. " The sooner, the better, my love," He says, putting his hand on top of the other that wasn't attached to a smoke. " I see the way he looks at you, Harlow, he has got it bad. There is no coming back for him if you choose to sever ties with him." He firmly states.  I laugh again, nervously. Bad habit I have. " It would be best for us to leave. I will return overseas to home for a while. I will need a change of scenery to move forward. I knew this day would come. I think I had been preparing myself for it recently then prior. I want for you to be worshiped to be taken care of; if he is capable of this, then what more can be said."  I still stunned at his maturity, but again this is why I choose to spend a large portion of my life with. I will always love him. I am sorry that he feels he needs to leave, but perhaps he is right; I don't think Tom would be comfortable.

   I walk over to Loren, and I sit on the couch in front of him. He plays without a hitch, his eyes never coming off of me. From when I walked towards him, he was studying me, watching every motion I took. With a plan being thrown around in his anxious mind, I can see it in his piercing green eyes; Shaking his head side to side, his wet natural curls flow with his motion, which is not to disturb him. I just sat and memorized his movements. Ravenous, but cold. The pain he was feeling played melodically through his fingers. He's much more, shall I say sensitive, he's always been very independent, but we have been attached for several years. I've known him since he was 19. We all will have to work together through this. But it will have to be without Tom. I will have to watch Tom leave, wondering if I will see him again. Pondering's of what if it doesn't work, what do I do. Do I want to give up this life for him? Is he willing to make sacrifices for me as well? At the end of this day, I will have succeeded in becoming the Queen of breaking hearts. For it will not be just one, it will be three.