s i Ni s t e r

Untitled Part 27

WELL, THAT'S A NICE..." DR. GOCO CLEARED HIS THROAT, "...TREE." Halatang hindi nito inaasahan na iyon ang idodrowing ni Blanche. But he was too old, he thought he could predict what was in her mind. He needed her drawing so he could complete his nice little file about her and make her fit his diagnosis.

Umiling si Blanche, "I disagree, Doctor. This is not a nice tree. It got thorns. Lots of thorns."

Napatuwid ng upo ang duktor, "That's interesting. How do you feel about the thorns?"

Blanche fought not to roll her eyes. The doctor was predictable. Kung hindi lang ayaw niyang mapunta sa basement ng isang private hospital. Her mother would not understand..no one would understand why she could not sleep, why she had no apetite, no interest in anything.

She was depressed, of course.

But Blanche knew exactly why and there was nothing anyone can do about it. She didn't really want to die. It was just impossible to live with herself.

"They're perfect." Sagot niya. "No one can get near them. People avoid them...there are lots of them here, Doctor. Near the beach. They like dry soil."

"Thorns are defense mechanism to some plants."

And maybe the tree represented her, growing thorns to protect herself. Dr. Goco could not be farther from the truth. Blanche wished she could tell him the truth.

"Acacia catechu." Sabi niya. "I Googled it." Sumulyap sa pinto ang duktor. Blanche was pleased. It meant her session was almost over. The doctor could not wait to return to the mahjong table. "They're a type of acacia. I didn't know there are lots of acacia. I wonder what will happen to them if...if the project pushed through."

"Project?"

"I saw the plan." And she heard that subtle 'ping' of the doctor's timer.

He uncrossed his legs, "I think we're making progress but I'll see you again next week."

"Yes, Doctor. Whatever you say, Doctor."

Kita agad niya si Amber paglabas dahil ito lang naman ang tao doon sa hallway. Nakatalikod ito sa kanya, nakatanaw sa bintana sa dulo ng pasilyo. Narinig siguro nito ang pinto, humarap. Amber was in matching workout clothes. Black with red vertical lines running down the sides of the pants and top.

"I know you'd be here and you can't drive the scooter yet, so I'll be your chauffeur." Sabi nito paglapit, ikinawit sa maayos niyang braso ang kamay, "How's the arm, by the way?"

"Few more days of this." She indicated her sling.

Amber groaned, "Ugh. I miss you so bad." Bulong nito sa kanya. Mainit pa ang hininga dahil sa workout...o talagang mainit lang si Amber. Bumilis ang pintig ng puso ni Blanche. Iginiya siya ni Amber papunta sa hagdanan.

"Are we using the stairs?" Tanong niya.

"Because no one uses the stairs." Amber breathed down on Blanche's shoulder. "There are no cameras either."

"Are you sure?" May phobia na si Blanche sa mga camera. "Are we going up?" Nanlalambot ang mga tuhod niya. Nasa beywang na niya ang isang kamay ni Amber. Sa loob ng blusa niya.

Tumingala si Amber, "Do you see any cameras?"

Tumingala rin si Blanche. "You know that because...."

Nakarating na sila sa landing. Isinandal siya ni Amber sa dinding, siniil siya ng halik doon. Blanche knew they shouldn't be making out here. Blanche knew she should control herself, losing it got her in trouble.

But she was weak. She has always been weak. She hated herself for that.

I want to be like my mom...but it's too hard to be like Mom.

"I missed this, I've been thinking of you. " Sabi Amber, kinuha ang kamay ni Blanche, "Hurry."

Naglakad-takbo sila sa hagdanan. They would stop occasionally to kiss and feel up each other.

Blanche was panting in exhaustion and desire when they reached the top. Binuksan ni Amber ang metal door sa roof top. They stepped out. Mahangin pero mainit. Walang katabing structure na magpo-provide ng lilim dahil iyon na mismo ang pinakamataas na building sa buong Pueblo.

Still, nakahanap sila ng malilim na bahagi. Some maintenance workers erected a tent. Mukhang doon nag-iinuman at nagsusugal, may nakakalat na playing card, queen of diamonds. May mga upos rin ng sigarilyo, bote ng mga mumurahing alak.

Kinabahan si Blanche. Paano kung biglang may dumating doon...Amber pushed her against the concrete barrier, kissed her hungrily, slipped a hand under her cullotes.

Blanche grabbed the back of Amber's arm with her good hand, as Amber started to stroke her gently between the thighs. Blanche let out a long moan and poked her tongue inside Amber's mouth.