Her Portrait Is Black and White

Worth Fighting For

Bette watched Tina's chest raise and full. She was on a number of drips, an IV to try and get her hydration levels up. She was having blood slowly dripped into arm, which were now covered in bandages, as the covered the wounds that she had managed to inflict on herself. Bette gently held her hand. She saw her woman in front of her broken. She hadn't even noticed that she was breaking. A mental health doctor had been to see Tina and had spend two hours with her alone. Bette had been asked to leave so they could ensure that they could get the full story from Tina. The doctor had said they would be back tomorrow to talk to them both. Right now the main thing was Tina

Beside the bed Xavier was sleeping in his stroller. Bette knew they had a long road now.

Tina slowly opened her eyes, she was weak, she looked up at the top ceiling before she moved her head and saw that Bette was beside her.

"I'm sorry," Tina whispered.

Bette reached out and touched her face, gently running her fingers along her face,

"Don't be, whatever is going on it that head of yours we are going to help you,"

"I'm not worthy are your love or his," Tina gestured to her sleeping son. "You will leave."

"I'm not going anywhere baby. I love you. I really do. I just wish I had seen the pain you are in."

"It's not physical." Tina whispered.

"You can be in mental pain, I know that. I've just not seen it. I was so scared when I woke and your stuff was there an you weren't. You're the love of my life and I didn't see you falling."

"We've been so wrapped up in Xavier, as we should be."

"Yet I didn't see you slowly going downhill, you're overwhelming need to work. You were scared."

"I could hear them in my head again, for the first time in a long time. They are there. Telling me I'm not worthy." Tears slowly ran down Tina's face. "I let them in again, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Bette gently brushed the tears away.

"I'm here for you. Together, we will get you through this." Bette kissed her wife's forehead, moving to sit on the desk. She ran her fingers through her wife's hair. "I will get you the best help."

"I'm mentally unstable is what you really mean," Tina said softly.

"Honey mental illness is just has bad as a physical illness and we will treat it that way. I'm never going to shame you. We will work at this together. The last thing I want is to wake up in the night and have you gone again."

Tina looked at her woman

"I never meant to worry you, I don't know...I can't explain." Tina was confused. Her mind was racing again. Bette watched as the light changed in her eyes, she could see Tina's brain going to that dark place.

"I'm here, I'm going to protect you. I will get you the best help."

"I'm not worth it."

"You are. You're my wife, my lover and my best friend Tina. You're also a wonderful mother to our baby boy."

"Is he okay?" Tina looked at him as he peacefully slept and not having a clue in the world of what was happening around him.

"He is fine. He has slept through most of it. He misses you."

"I'm such a failure. I thought he was better off without me." Tina turned her head. "I thought you were both better off without me."