Her Portrait Is Black and White

Yoda

ina lay back in her hospital bed, her eyes closed. She wasn't sleeping she was simply resting. Her mind was still racing. She couldn't believe she had left the house. She had every intention of ending things. She was willing to leave her son and wife behind. She couldn't get her mind away from that. She had left. She could have ruined everything. She didn't know why she had let her demons take control. She had never been in this situation before. She felt weak.

Tina heard the door open and softly close. She knew it wouldn't be Bette who had gone home with Xavier. Tina opened her eyes and was shocked to see Shane standing there looking very concerned.

"Hey," Shane said when she saw Tina watching her, she put the bag down that she had brought with her which was filled with clothes and other items for Tina.

"Hi, I was expecting you," Tina said. "I didn't think anyone would visit."

Shane sat down on the chair next to Tina's bed and took in her friend. Tina was pale and she could see that she was fighting her internal demons.

"Why wouldn't we come?"

"I walked out on Bette, I'm shocked that she even turned up and declared her love for me. I walked away. I was ready to do..." Tina stopped as tears chocked her.

"Tina, we are here for you. We love you. You have a greater support network that you realise. We are here for you. Even if it's just to sit here and just be with you or for us to talk." Shane said softly. She knew that her friend needed the help that Bette was willing to get for her.

Tina nodded her head. She was so unsure. Her mind was still racing and she could not shut it off. They sat in silence for a little while and Tina knew that Shane wasn't judging her, she was simply there to be with her.

"Shane,"

"Mmm,"

"Bette is never going to trust me again." Tina said slowly. She knew that this was the truth. It was a thought that had been going around in her head.

"Why do you think that?" Shane asked,

"I got up in the middle of night kissed our son. My baby. I love him, God I thought he would be better off without me."

"Tina whatever is happening doesn't change the fact that Xavier and Bette love you. We know that, they know that. Its going to be a long road. I know it's going to be tough and you're going to have to go through so much. But you have to know we are all here for you."

"I feel like my world is a mess. I had everything. My career is successful, I've got a loving wife and now a son but..." Tina stopped. She could hear her heartbeat in her head as she spoke.

"What?" Shane said when Tina did not finish her sentence.

"I feel like I'm destroying their lives. I mean to be with me Bette left LA and moved out into the middle of nowhere. I moved her away from her gallery, her friends, her life in Hollywood."

"You made her life better." Shane said softly. "Listen, Tina I know this is hard and I know you are struggling with demons and feelings you cannot explain or express. We are going to help you. I know for sure we here for you. We are going to get you through this."

"I wish it was all that easy." Tina looked at her friend. "I'm so scared. I can't lose Bette. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't lose her or Xavier. They are my world. I have failed them. Massively."