Dream SMP Random One Shots

Phyc Log- Wilbur Minecraft 1

All the following was documented the day of the return from the battle of Oscuras. Insurgents led by Wilbur Minecraft assisted by General Bad and Commander Antfrost attacked the Pillager land and took back the carried (redacted). Clearance level Alonzo codes required to read the following retelling.

Wilbur: What is this?

Dr. Alyssa: This exercise is required by the laws of the land to assess the situation, and check in on your mental health.

Wilbur: I'm doing peachy, can I go now?

Dr. Alyssa: I was told you and Nikki Manifold took down a ravenger. Quite impressive. Why haven't you applied for more in depth training for warfare?

Wilbur: I'm satisfied the way I am now. I don't like having to wear armor anyway. There are other more important ways to pass my time.

Dr. Alyssa: Like what Wilbur?

Wilbur: I like music, and I am currently running the Minecraft estate in my father's absence. Which is why this is a little bit of a waste of my time, honestly.

Dr. Alyssa: Sorry to hear that Wilbur, if you comply with this activity I will try and have you out of here as fast as possible. Are you feeling stressed?

Wilbur: Nope.

Dr. Alyssa: Be serious Wilbur.

Wilbur: Fine, a little bit. I have to deal with all these assholes that don't want to get anything done everyday. It's annoying, but I wouldn't really call it stressful. I have my friends back, so that's a relief.

Dr. Alyssa: What is your relationship with the carrier, Fundy?"

Wilbur: Been friends since we were kids. I've spent a lot of time with him, mainly doing dumb shit. He's a good guy though, and I knew my brother's whereabouts were safe with him. He isn't a well mannered person per say, but when push comes to shove he gets it done.

Dr. Alyssa: Sounds lovely, what do you know about his time in the Pillager Outpost?

Wilbur: Absolutely no details. I know he was hurt.

Dr. Alyssa: Tortured?

Participant seemed quite agitated by that comment.

Wilbur: That's not something I'd ever want to say out loud. Can we move on now?

Dr. Alyssa: Yes, sorry for the discomfort. What is your relationship with Jay Schlatt?

Wilbur: Been my best friend my whole life. He only goes by Schlatt though. He's quite a neat freak and a prankster. 

Dr. Alyssa: Do you know what he was doing in the nether the day he met the assassin?

Wilbur: Probably didn't believe I'd actually been hidden. He must have been using our secret portal route.

Dr. Alyssa: What do you know about Quackity, he has yet to give us a last name.

Wilbur: Not much. I know he's close with Schlatt and helped him attack the outpost. He's a lone survivor of Mexican L'manburg. Used to work under Dream to ensure its safety. These are more questions for him though.

Dr. Alyssa: Understood: What do you know about Ranboo, Ponk, and er... Project Shadowed?

Subject showed amusement.

Wilbur: Has Project Shadowed not given you his name? That's funny. All I know is he can manipulate light and shadows. Sometimes his own appearance. Ponk I don't know much about, other than he has a medical degree. Ranboo seems to suffer from amnesia, might be a good idea to get him a book.

Dr. Alyssa: Would you like to talk about anything else?

Wilbur: Not really, I've got work to do.

Dr. Alyssa: Alright then, you're free to go.