Until My Heartbeat Stops

Vanilla Question

"We need a word." "What do you mean a word." "Like something we say when we need to talk away from our parents or just about something personal." "Okay like what?' "I don't know," Griffin answered. "What about coffee?" "No Dixie not something you're addicted to something meaningful." "Oh well, I don't know what else." Dixie took a sip of her vanilla coffee. Griffin got her packets that she was addicted to. "Vanilla." "What yea, of course, this is vanilla what do you mean--" "No no that's our word."

"Vanilla."

"Hey, I didn't mean to call without warning I just wanted to check up on you."

"Oh.. oh well that that's really nice of you I am so glad you said that."

"Are you okay? You sound--"

"drunk well that that is because I am."

"oh well are you alone I don't know how I feel about you being alone."

"can... can I ask you something?"

"Yea but answer my question first."

"yes, I'm alone but but ( she emphasized the second "but") I'm fine now my question."

"Oh okay is it important? Is it something I need to be all in for? It is.. wait Dixie vanilla?"

"Yes, it's a vanilla question."

"Okay go ahead."

"Do you think it's hard to get close to anyone romantically? and if so why and if not do you think it's because you never had a relationship like that besides well.. me. Or do you feel like your somehow betraying me by being happy with someone else?"

"What is this really about?"

Dixie took another long breath. She knew what this was about she just hesitated saying it out loud as if acknowledging it like that would make it all the more real.

"There's this guy at work, and he kissed me. I don't know I kind of like him but I've never been with anyone but you. I haven't even kissed someone other than you up until yesterday."

"Dixie--"

"I don't want a long ass speech about how it's fine to be with some else, and that you're not offended because I know your not. We got divorced for a reason, we love each other as friends I just want to know if I'm holding myself back because of that because I'm scared to open up to someone."

"Dixie-"

"Part of me is so--"

"Dixie!"

"Yes... I'm sorry.. yes."

"It's okay whether we like it or not we were together our entire lives, and change is different and hard and not easy. I understand where your coming from and I do on occasion feel the exact same you do. But don't hold yourself back Dixie. You like him that's good that's progress."

"So what I'm hearing his I can like him back?"

"Of course you can like him back Dixie, learning to care about someone is easy it's what happens afterward that breaks a heart."

"You know you could become a motivational speaker."

"A vanilla question deserves a caramel response."