Until My Heartbeat Stops

I dont like public speaking

It was last minute, the speech. Noah was supposed to just be a guest. But Aisha had come up to him a few minutes before the ceremony to explain to him that Chase, A old friend of Noah's couldn't do it because it hurt too much. Noah was hesitant at first he didn't have anything prepared and he wasn't one to talk in front of people, but Dixie made sure he said yes. He needed something like this to give him closer and if he wasn't gonna talk to Dixie she was gonna make damn sure he talk about it with someone, even if that was an entire crowd.

"Dixie I don't know about this I'm not really up to talking about Nate now it's just... it hurts to much."

"Noah I know it hurts that's why you have to do this to give you closer."

"I don't even know what I would say."

"Just speak from the heart. I know you have a lot to say. You just have to let yourself say it."

She said fixing his tie.

"Dixie- I'm."

"I know. But you being scared that people won't like what you have to say doesn't mean they don't need to hear it."

She took a breath.

"Please do this Noah, do it for Aisha, do it for Nate, do it for me. But most importantly do it for yourself." 

He kissed her slowly.

"Ok." He said softly.

She smiled.

"I- um I wanted to.. to thank you. You've been really good with this whole thing..... I- um I'm sorry if I hurt - overstep I-"

She pulled him into a hug, knowing he was trying not to cry.

"I'm here Noah, whenever your ready to talk."

Noah was incredibly grateful to have Dixie. He would be eating ice cream and mourning in his pajamas if it wasn't for her.

——————

He was nervous, walking up to the stand to talk about a friend he's known since high school. He didn't have anything prepared, nothing memorized or reading to be said. But Dixie told him to speak from the heart, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

Nate Ismaili Wyatt.
I- uh - um he took a breath. You know we talk about this, in high school what we would say if the other one passed. I didn't take it seriously than; but I have to now. Nate was the only person I know to memorize every digit of pi because his weekend was slow and he had "nothing else to do" Nate was the one person to go to for advice because he always seemed to know things even if he's never experiencing them. Nate didn't like talking about his heartbreak, his pain he didn't like people seeing him in a certain way because of it. We use to mock him, tried to convey that talking about it helps. I now after 28 years understand why he did it.

Nate was a survivor of life. He was kind and powerful and someone we were all lucky to have met. He was- He is my best friend and he always will be.

Noah got down from the stand and everyone gave there last condolence to Noah. Dixie was beyond proud of him. She knew it wasn't easy and he still did it.

"Noah you did so good—"

"Yea thanks.." he said before running out the doors.