let's get high (the sequel)

PART 52

A/N : sorry for not updating i feel like shit so not really in the best place to write

TW // suicide and self harm

"Lydia, Charlis not dead you're fine." Jaden says softly and i look down, "That's not what i meant."

"What happened?..." He asks as he moves his hand onto mine.

"I wasn't thinking and i-i went over to sway." I stutter, "Shit." He mumbles under his breath.

"Josh is dead." I whisper and Jaden looks up at me as i feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks again.

"Both of them are gone." I sob as Jaden wraps his arm around me, "It's for the best." He says quietly.

"Why do i care so much about people who couldn't give one shit about me, i mean Bryce cared about me and he said he was doing all this shit to protect me but then he'd listen to all these terrible lies about me, and Josh, He was like a brother to me until everything happened and he turned on me too, i just don't get it." I say as i look down at the ground.

"I want to go home." I say quietly and Jaden looks at me, "What about Josh's body, if the cops are still there-"

"Made it look like a suicide." I shrug and Jaden looks at me, "You're learning a lot aren't you?" He asks with a small smile.

"I'm going over, i miss my bed." I say as o stand up and Jaden looks over at me, "Alright let's go."

"No, i'm not risking you being sent back to that place. I've lost you too many times, if they see you they'll take you right back." I say quietly as i look at him.

"If you're not careful i swear to god-" He starts to say, "I'll be careful." I say with a smile as i kiss him on the cheek, "Be back soon."
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I pull up to the sway house and climb out of the car, i immediately see Anthony walking towards me with a grim expression on his face.

"Is everything ok?" I ask as i slowly step out of the car.

He shakes his head as he looks at the group of cops running into the house, i quickly brush past him and start following the cops into the house.

"LYDIA NO!" Anthony shouts as he runs past me, he grabs onto my arm and spins me around, "You don't wanna go in there." He says as he looks at me.

"What's going on?" I ask as i look at him, he gives me a look and i raise an eyebrow, "What."

"Josh." He says quietly and i quickly shake my head as i try to get his hand off me.

I run towards the house and he quickly follows after me as i push past a few cops standing by the door.

As expected a group of cops were swarmed around Josh's room, i quickly make my way to the kitchen and grab a knife from one of the drawers.

I take a deep breath before pulling my pant leg up and stabbing the knife into my leg.

I feel tears sparking my eyes and pull my pants back down before running back into the living room, every time i took a step my more tears fell down my cheek.

I watch as they carry Josh's body out of the room and i drop down onto the ground and let out a loud sob as the paramedics bring his body out of the house.

I feel someone kneel down beside me and look to my left as Anthony was next to me, "We shouldn't be in here right now." He says quietly.

Before getting up one of the cops walks up to us, "Were either of you here at the time of the suicide?" He asks.

I stand up as i wipe a tear from my cheek, "I was at my friends house." I say quietly.

"I was with my girlfriend and all the other guys have been all over the place the last few days." Anthony says to the cop.

"And has there been anything that's happened in the past few weeks that would have made him want to take his life?" He asks and Anthony opens his mouth to say something but i start before him.

"Josh has been acting different recently, it may be because his ex is newly single but i think it's something bigger then that, i mean he's rarely home he's been going out a lot and telling all these wild stories, most of the time when he comes home he's either drunk or high.
He just hasn't been himself lately and every time i try to talk to him he says he's fine but then i'll find a bloody razor in his room, i was worried about him but he never told anyone what was going on." I say quietly as i feel myself start to tear up again.

"I mean i knew he self harmed but i didn't know he would go this far, it's just terrible." I say as i look down at the ground.

The cop nods after writing everything down, he walks out of the house and Anthony turns to me, "What the fuck was that??" He whispers.

I give him a blank look, "What was what?" I ask as i walk past him out of the house.