Hidden Hearts Ranch

his breakdown

Nathan

She was in my arms most night,I used to think about running away with her and just being the two of us, but I couldn't do that to my brothers they loved her as much as I did,I just got to be the lucky one to have her by my side most nights, the only time she really wasn't allowed in the house was when my father came home and then she would usually stay with the Taylor brothers or at Mr. Blackbournes house,  these thoughts have been running through my head since that night at the club, Turns out she own moonlight lounge,huh you would have thought someone like her owning a club, but that also explains why it's clean,and no problems arise, though I wonder if she's part of the problem with drugs,stop Nathan you know here your peanut wouldn't do stuff like that,her family sure,no brained but even the brief encounter with her adoptive father he wouldn't put her in that position,

So I've been putting a lot more time in the gym,and by the looks of it Raven has been keeping N eye on me. Not that I can blame him,no matter how much time I put in at the gym I can't see to get her out of my head,her smile,her feminine smell, the way she mold to my body, the way she would sleep with her head on my chest,the way her hair would fall around her at night like a halo, oh and her infectious sweet voice and those giggles, Sean always trying to cure those giggles was a hoot when she would calm them down and burst to even more giggles. They were music to the ears. I wonder if any of my brothers recorded it at one point. I can't believe we let her go, I can't believe she was gone for two years,I can't believe she is a member of the rodeo circuit,I can't believe she's with the Kalo-Toma team,punch,I can't believe she's part of the underground,kick, and I can't believe why she still has a hold on me.
And I yell,Why are you still affecting me?
This caught the attention of Raven and as I'm on my knees and hands,head hanging low, he just comes over with a hand on my shoulder all he says is you still love her that's why.

I just look up at him and have to agree  I do, I do still love her, but I don't think she loves us anymore, he says did you try talking to her and inskahe my head no,he says when she gets back talk to her,tell her your feelings,but if you don't have a sincere apology, talking is going to get you no where with her. She returns from New York on Friday at the latest. She will be home for a week then she's gone again. But she's all Victors on Saturday. And I think Victor how's he swing that,he's the shyest out of all of us, then I think back to the club night and how he tried to stop us from doing something dumb and that he refused to go with us that's why,he already manage to gett some time with her,he's the one that talk to her at the rodeo,he's the one that went after her that day at the hospital, which means somewhere in there he managed to apologize and that's why she's giving him a chance. And it seems now its my turn, the only thing raven said Is dont tell the others how to fix it,that's the one thing she told him her words were don't tell them how to start fixing this, they are smart academy trained boys,they can figure it out. Pretty much we give a sincere apology and she might give is a chance to be in her life one way or another and with that I know my determination to make up for my stupid idiotic ways.

I'm determined to get my peanut back.

( I know shorter,bit it was time for Nathan to express himself a little,he may have doubts but he loves his peanut)