Hidden Hearts Ranch

waiting

Sang

As I sit here and wait on my discharge papers I can help but think of Ireland and what uncle Killian is doing,usually when I'm there he's off doing what he's doing and I'm left to do as I please, most of the time I'm off walking the land either by myself or with my handful of dogs,usually when I go unless I'm climbing I take Luna my wolfhound. While he's I have a couple of wolf's,a gift from uncle Alex Luna is my girl, she always by my side when she can be,I seriously need to start taking her with me when I come back to the states,either way she always comforts me when I'm feeling this low about myself,yes I have the Kalo-Toma team and I love them so,we have these new lives we are bringing into this world,seems I have Victor by side at all times no matter what, but in my mind,it's a waiting game,waiting to see when trouble hits me next, who is coming for me, while this is the life I love,can't help but wonder what it would have been like growing up with my blood family on me mams side, would I have grown up in the castle from which I reside in now,or would I have been shipped off and grown up with me grandfather in Greece,if I did grow up in Greece would I have met Silas before, would I have even met the boys the nine loves I can't seem to forget,nor do I want to, would my life be more in the underground or would grandpa keep that part out of my life. As I sit here and wait I started to sing quietly about a father dieing and singing to his boy,
Apparently I was singing a little loudly,cause the emergency department seem to get quiet at that,but I didn't dwell on it, it's what I wanted to sing and so I did,with my head back and eyes close I Sang to my heart's content. If it wasn't for the ten lives,eleven if you count Victor,that I have come to love at this time,I would be out of here in a heart beat and become the ghost that I am,with connections like no other I could do it and become a wanderer to my life run my business without being seen and still be set for life. But The eight at home and the two growing inside me remembering that I am wanted and loved is all that I need, Alessandro loves me, Alexandre loves me, Killian loves me, and so does my brothers Damien and Cody.
I sit here and wait and know that Dominic and Devin are just outside my door and I know they have been listening to everything going on in here. And with the song coming to an end I asked that they come talk to me,I'm bored and feeling lonely might as well talk to them,I'm still be gaurded after all.
I'm not sure where the Blackbourne team has gone off to.
So with that the three of us talk about anything and everything, the. I tell them my fears and how besides Victor nobody seems to want me back in their life, and I tell them and can't really blame them,it's not an easy life I've had or have now knowing more if my roots. I tell them about the invitation I gave to Silas and how he just walked away,I tell them that it really hurt and then tonight at the gala when I accidentally bumped in to him he just walked away against ith k ow word or backward glances,that I never stopped loving him,and that I don't know what I did, at this point I have tears streaming down my face, for myself,for the loves that it seems I lost, for Ireland,for my chosen family, I tell them that I'm scared to meet my grandfather who I just found out I have, and if knows about me then why didn't he come for me earlier,I can only assume it was to protect me. And with that I cry,I cry while Devin comes and hugs me like the friend he is, in this moment he's a friend not my bodyguard,not the guys who has a crush on me. Not anything more than a friend.