59 - Falling for her

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Deiva's POV:

He was silent. 'Arya?' I called him. 'Yeah,' he nodded. 'Will you be my boyfriend again?' I asked him again. 'You know, I have a party. And my colleagues think we're really in a relationship. 

They are pushing me to attend,' I explained. 'Yes,' he replied in a single word. 'What?' I looked at the screen closely. 'I said yes,' he smiled. 'If you are not willing, then I can back off,' I suggested. 

'I am fine with it, Deiva. Why are you freaking out?' he asked coolly. 'I thought you would not want to do it again,' I mumbled. 'Why wouldn't I?' he smiled. 'I mean, why wouldn't I help you?' he said. 

'Thanks, Arya,' I thanked relieved. 'It's my pleasure,' he replied. Even though it was a video call, not a physical presence his gaze penetrated me. My heartbeat hyped up. 

'The party is the day after tomorrow. I will text you the place later. Bye. Good night,' I ended the call abruptly unable to bear the intensity of the feelings and emotions. I am scared that I may fall for him. But what's wrong with it? My inner self asked boldly. No. I don't want that. Why? 

Maybe I am not ready. I am not the one for me. I have already pressured and forced Jeeva into the relationship that made him grow a kind of aversion towards me. Because it may ruin the friendship I and Arya have, just like it happened with me and Jeeva. 

My bond with Jeeva has revived because he understood me and trusted that I have changed. And its pure friendship and instinctual affection. Nothing more than that. But I don't know what will happen if Arya ever feels the same aversion towards me just because I push him further. It may ruin what we have already. I don't want it. 

And I am scared that, if develop any feelings for him and he would just brush it off calling it a play and a lie and tell me to be practical, that would devastate me. It will destroy me in a way that I can never trust anyone again. I don't want that to happen. 

It scares me the most. These are the reasons I don't want to fall for him or push him into an act as my boyfriend. This would be the final time, we would ever do it. That's it. No more plays. No more lies. But why do I still want more even after realizing all the truth?

Adithi's POV:

I made a checklist of things I had to buy for the kids. Only three days left for Diwali. Amma and Appa used to give the kids new dresses and gifts like stationaries and books. I don't know how much I can do. But I will try my best to keep them happy. 

Jeeva has done a lot for them. He did what Appa did for them. A smile plastered over my lips thinking of him. I placed the notepad aside and lied down in the bed. Today I miss Amma and Appa a little more. I closed my eyes with a sigh.

I felt someone caressing my head. The touch felt very familiar but unrecognizable. I opened my eyes and found Amma caressing my head. 'Amma,' I sat straight and looked at her. She smiled at me widely. 'Amma,' I touched her face as tears welled up in my eyes. 

'I am here. We are here. For you,' she said as Appa sat beside her. 'Appa,' tears wetted my eyes I looked at both. They both kissed me on my forehead. 'We are happy for you. For you and Jeeva,' Amma smiled. 'You know him?' I asked smiling amidst the tears. 

'Of course, we know. Jeeva and his family. We love them too,' Appa replied. I hugged Amma tightly. 'I missed you a lot,' I could feel the warmth I yearned for. Appa joined us and hugged us both just like old times. I silently enjoyed the moment enjoying their hug. 

'I want this to be real,' I whispered. 'Of course, this is real, Adi,' Amma kissed the top of my head. Appa gently caressed my back. I could feel everything. Their touch, their warmth, their scent, and them. We slowly separated. 

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