Backstabber (Five Hargreeves x Reader)

Five in Wonderland: Who Stole the Tarts

Lana the Red Queen and the Handler of Hearts were seated on their thrones with a large crowd assembled around them. A girl with dark brunette hair in a white suit that had the pattern and design of the Knave of Hearts. She had black circles around her white eyes and was in chains. Five's eyes widened at the realization that that was Vanya.

Vanya the Knave was standing before the Queens, and near Lana was the White Reginald Rabbit with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll in the other. In the middle of the court was a table with a large dish of tarts on it.

"Reginald Rabbit, read the accusation!" Lana the Red Queen ordered. The White Reginald Rabbit blew on the trumpet and unrolled the scroll to read aloud, "The Handler of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day; The Knave of Hearts, she stole the tarts; And took them quite away!"

"Consider your verdict!" Lana said to the jury. "Not yet!" The Man-Rabbit interrupted. "There's more to come before that! Call the first witness!"

The first witness was the Mad Klaus Hatter.

With a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other, he approached the witness stand. "I apologize, your Majesty, for bringing these in but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for."

The Red Queen didn't seem to care as she ordered, "Take off your hat."
"It isn't mine."
"Whatever! Just give your evidence, and I'll have you executed on the spot if you seem too nervous."

At this same moment, Five felt a shitty sensation that confused him until he realized what it was: he was beginning to grow larger again, and he considered getting up and leaving the court, but on second thought, he chose to stay as long as there was room for him.

Klaus the Hatter began in a trembling voice. "I'm a poor man, your Majesty-"

"You're a very poor speaker." The Handler of Hearts butted in with a glare casted down at the Hatter.

Klaus the Hatter stared at her but then continued. "...and I hadn't begun my tea, not above a week or so, and what with the bread and butter getting so thin... and the twinkling of the tea-"

"The twinkling of the what?" Lana the Red Queen questioned.
"It began with the tea." Klaus the Hatter replied.
"Of course twinkling begins with a T! Do you take me for a fool? Go on!"
"I'm a poor man and most things twinkled after that... only the March Hare said-"

"I didn't!" The March Ben Hare interrupted in a great hurry from his seat.
"You did!"
"I deny it!"

"He denies it!" The Red Queen announced before turning to the jury. "Leave out that part."

"Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said..." Klaus the Hatter continued, looking around nervously to see if Grace the Dormouse would deny it as well, but she was fast asleep and didn't say anything.

His eyes anxiously returned to the Queens as he continued. "After that I cut some more bread-and-butter."

"But what did the Dormouse say?" A jury member asked.

"That I can't remember."
"You must remember or we'll have you executed!" Lana the Red Queen remarked angrily.

The miserable Hatter went down on one knee, dropping his teacup and bread-and-butter in the process. "I'm a poor man, your Majesty."

"If that's all you know about it then you may go." The Handler of Hearts said. "And take his head off outside!" Lana added to one of the officers but Klaus the Hatter was already out of sight before the officer could get to the door.

"Call the next witness!"

The next witness was Melanie the Cook. She was holding a pepper-box, and Five could tell who it was even before she entered the court since everyone around the door started sneezing at the same time.

"Give your evidence." The Handler of Hearts demanded.

"Nah." Melanie the cook said with a look of boredom as she leaned on the stand in front of her. "The only thing I'm guilty of is having a fat tight wet pussy."

The crowd quietly gasped and the Handler looked to the White Reginald Rabbit, who said in a low voice, "Your Majesty must cross-examine this witness."

The Handler rolled her eyes and said deeply, "What are tarts made of?" "Mostly pepper." Melanie the cook said, twirling her hair. "Treacle." Said a sleepy Grace beside Five.

"Collar that Dormouse!" Lana the Red Queen screamed out. "Behead that Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress her! Pinch her! Off with her whiskers!"

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting Grace turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, Melanie had disappeared. "Never mind!" said Lana, with an air of great relief.

The entire court was in disarray for a few minutes while they tried to figure out how to get Grace the Dormouse turned out, and Melanie had vanished by the time they had regained their composure. With a sigh of relief, the Handler of Hearts exclaimed, "Never mind! Call the next witness." And she added quietly to Lana the Red Queen, "Really, my dear, you must cross-examine the next witness. It makes my forehead ache!"

Five watched the White Reginald Rabbit, curious to see who would be the next witness out of all the crazy characters he's met in this Wonderland. He looked around the court to see those exact people he's met all day.

Allison the Dodo was with the same creatures she helped get dry, Luther and Diego were elbowing each other back and forth without alteration, even the Blue Angie Caterpillar was in the corner of the room blowing smoke rings from her lips. The March Ben Hare was seated next to Grace the Dormouse who was practically falling off her seat while snoozing next to Five. His eyes scanned around for the Cheshire (Y/n) but he couldn't catch a body part fading or appearing.

The White Reginald Rabbit read out at the top of his voice the name "Five!"

( Author: Next week will be the last part for Five in Wonderland and then I'll update you guys on where I am in deciding when I will start writing updates for the actual book )